LOST IN TRANSLATION

Sometimes, its required to be a little resistant to things. Cause you gotta know yourself and make a decision as to what you need to do to achieve the things you want. That is the basic function of the human brain, to understand, to imbibe and to reason. Now, most of the things that you decide to do are spontaneous, the brain is wired in such a way, that they become a reflex, what is also called as "second nature". To control that is the challenge, cause you know that in a lot of cases this "second nature" is what brings you down, it is what makes you a slave to your own self. It may sound like a trivial thing to try and control every response you send out, but if you know and understand how these responses affect your psyche, then its better to try to curb them. For example, if you know that booze makes you emotional, unhappy and just plain bitter, don't drink so much. Cause you know that its just going to generate negativity, and you'll be stewing in a pot of self-pity by the end of the night. On the other hand, if you know that listening to music early in the morning energizes you, then keep doing that, cause its good to get out the early morning blues. They say that knowing what you want is the key to success. I think that knowing yourself is the first key to success. As long as you can do things that cause you to be comfortable in your own skin, to make you not want to be somebody else, then you're fine. If that's not the case, then you've got loads of soul searching to do, my friend.

And it all begins with acknowledgment. Acknowledge that you're not happy, acknowledge that there are regrets and mistakes at every point. Accept them at the physical level. Realize that they happened cause of your own faults. "All causes of misery are internal". Once one understands this fact, then one can build towards happiness. Life is always going to throw obstacles at you, you gotta find your way through them and emerge as a self-made person. Cause that is what you are supposed to be, that is why you have been blessed with a brain. Ill give you a very specefic example for this. Have you ever felt that feeling of being lost, when everything around you and everyone seems unfamiliar. It may be in a new country, at a drug-addled party, at a gathering in your new college, in a newly painted and furnished room or in an empty train at 12:30 am. The feeling is the essence of the loneliness that people feel when they lose a sense of who they are. Cause that sense of theirs is related to external things. Their friends might define and affect their opinions of themselves, they see a mirror everyday to see how good-looking they are, their top-range BMW provides them a feeling of status. All these things leave imprints in their mind and are a massive part of their process of self-evaluation. And when these things are absent, they lose sense of themselves, cause the thing that defines them is gone. Its like they have no meaning. Its like the movie "Lost in Translation". In a new country, when no one understands you, and nothing can really emphathize with you, you look for pillars of support, for people, things, places that can redefine or give you a sense of purpose and meaning. Its the reason why Indians, how much ever they might hate each other, try and stick together abroad. Its the reason why people go to temples, to find themselves. Its the reason why people have favourite places and things. Things and places that provide them that extra definition to their life. Things that tell them why they are where they are. Things that make them say "THIS IS ME".

An important fact that people forget is that all these are impermanent, ephemeral. Once you learn to be content and with yourself irrespective of the external environment, thats real power. Thats real enlightenment, thats a real sense of purpose. Cause all that is within you is all that is required to make you move forward. Thats when you become a universal citizen, a man/woman, with no dependence on any sect, person, situation, thing, drug or emotion to keep your sense of yourself. As long as your ever-present breath, just the fact that you are living can be that anchor, can be that pillar of support, can be that defining thing in your life, then you are FREE, totally and utterly FREE.

HUMILITY

Humility is a really curious thing. To not have it, is to expose yourself to the possibility of misery. Cause having an ego does lead to great things, but it also leads to misery sometimes. Humility might keep you stable and happy, but it may not garner adulation and appreciation for you all the time. Of course the argument is also there that a truly humble person does not want adulation and appreciation. He is content in doing his own thing, living in his own world. I guess with maturity comes humility. You may have committed mistakes in the past, things that have negatively affected your life in lots of ways. Lots of people do admit to them, but it takes a big man/woman to pay the price for them. How many murderers would voluntarily go to jail? How many drug addicts would voluntarily go to rehab?

Paying the price for a mistake is the law of nature. It should happen. For the betterment of the people involved. Cause it lingers with your conscience otherwise and comes out in negative forms. Accepting it and dealing with it is the best way to move forward. Because it is the reality which you are facing. And no one, and i mean no one, can stay oblivious to reality for the long run.

IMPROVED INTROSPECTION

Its 4:30 am. I haven't been writing for a few days, but today the urge suddenly returns. Maybe i didn't have a reason to write these past few days as i was so busy doing things - things which are related directly/indirectly to my future. A myriad world is around us, but yet we make our way silently and patiently doing these "things" which seem to have the most bearing on our lives. The law of Karma is what governs our lives, even if we choose to admit it or not. It is a simple law, one that is easy to understand, but hardest to implement. Cause our minds work faster than our bodies, we imagine ourselves doing a thousand things before they actually happen, creating a world of "skewed reality" around us. We build hopes and dreams around these pseudo-realities. And when things dont happen as we want them to, or against our wishes, we cry, we rant and we let all the negativity in. Part of our lives are consumed by this negativity which is a burden, a chain, that is curbing our growth, our life. It needs to be eliminated, cause we, as human beings desire to be happy. That is our ultimate goal, cause we have senses of touch, of taste, of sound, of sight and smell. We want to please these senses, that is all. Everything we do in this world is to please our senses. You might argue, that satisfying one's ego is not pleasing of the senses. But it is, as science has shown that pleasant sensations run across the body if one's ego is satiated.

A highly important concept in life is to just observe these sensations, don't develop an emotional attachment to them. Cause they are impermanent, so dont crave for them or dont hate them. Just see them for what they really are. These were the teachings of Buddha. And he raught us a way to just observe them. A wonderful technique called as Vipassana meditation. I wont go into the details of the technique, as it can be best understood by experience, but what i will say is that, it is not something that tells you to forget about life and worldly matters. It is something that tells you to have a strong determination to move forward no matter what happens in your life. It teaches you that everything you feel, see, hear, taste and see is ephemeral. Enjoy it, but do not desire it all the time. Cause these sensations are beyond your control. They occur at the subtlest level of the mind. Your job is not to react to them.

A large part of me always felt that teaching was not a big deal. It was just anything else. In terms of skill it is, but in terms of Karma, its gold. Absolute gold. Imparting knowledge of any sort is a noble act, as it is a positive thing to do, it shows a way forward. A way to a place where you are helping yourself. And this is the biggest act of Karma. Realize that you are are helping yourself by every positive thing you do for yourself or for others. Realize that you are harming yourself by every negative thing you do for yourself or for others. Now a lot of philosophy feels like intellectual enjoyment, but it matters what you do with that philosophy. Just be aware of guidelines and do your work. Life is simple, our inabilities make it complicated.

The above are not really my original ideas. they draw heavily from the teachings of Buddha. I recently went for a Vipassana meditation course and imbibed some of these. I must say that after 10 days in isolation I realized the cause of a lot of things. Of why we suffer, why we enjoy, why we feel things the way we do. Its all internal. All answers to our questions lie within ourselves. I highly recommend the Vipassana course for anyone interested in answers to abstract questions.

P.S. The image is that of a baby meditating. :)

LIFE IS FOR LIVING

To be honest to yourself is a big thing. Most people cannot do it. Cause they always try to judge themselves from another person's perspective. Its a very addictive thing to do. Cause you can see yourself in the light you always wanted to. And you can put the blame on the other person, saying that he/she thinks that i am like this, he/she believes that these are my qualities. Now you may say that, but what you're internally trying to do is making the other person define your virtues and who you are. This is done to adjust yourself to a vision of who you aspire to be. Its one of the biggest smoke and mirrors tendencies that all humans have. Its emotional attachment to who you want to be. Its a difficult thing to control because your heart is going "Yea, that's me, Im so awesome", but a voice in your head goes "Dude, that's bullshit, you're not so great". Now obviously, most of us want to overpower that voice in your mind, cause you dont wanna hear it . You wanna live in the fairytale that your heart is capable of. It's what happens when people are deluded about themselves and their abilities. The best football player in the world...when does he think he is the best? Is it after he wins the FIFA Footballer of the Year award, or wins a World Cup, or Champions League medal? Its hard to define. And desire plays such a huge role. There are 2 kinds of effect that undying, never-ceasing desire can have.

First : When an outsider defines you the way you want to be defined, you can go "Yes, my goal is accomplished. Ive achieved what I want to be". NOW, he uses this desire to THINK about how great he is, to look at his past, predict his future and really be full of self-pride. Its an emotional moment. And these guys are more emotional than most others.

Second : When an outsider defines you the way you want to be defined, you can go "Wow, great compliment, but am i really that good? Cause i sucked at certain things yesterday. HMMM....maybe i should use this as fuel to propel me further. I shouldn't judge myself the way others judge me. That's a dangerous thing to do" Cause a lot of things are impermanent, and it pays to move on. All you can do, is try your hardest in the current moment, be the best your abilities and situations allow you to be.

It requires intense mind control to be like the second person. To not get carried away. To cut-off from the rest of the world. Its scary, cause you're kind of denying your mind all the pleasures and thoughts it wants to indulge into. You're preventing yourself from being seduced by an external locus of identity. Most of the world champs of today are of the second kind. They see life for what it is, not what they want it to be. Just the other day, at Dadar station i saw the happiest person alive. It was a menial cobbler. The moment he started cleaning shoes, all he could hear/see/feel was that. That was his LIFE at the present. He was not interested in anything else. His poverty, illiteracy and harsh life seemed to be outta the window in that particular moment. Once he was finished, he had a content smile on his face even before he was paid. Now he may not be a Ratan Tata or a Shahrukh Khan, but he saw his life for what it was and LIVED it. He didn't wonder when he's gonna be paid the money for which he toiled for the last 5 minutes, he just soaked in all that was around him. You might not think he has no ambition, but how can that be judged in just a brief meeting? But the point is, he lives in the moment, or atleast tries his best to focus only on what's in front of him, not what lies in the future or what's embedded in the past. And THAT, JUST THAT is a quality worth respecting.

GO GET IT !!!

I've kinda been laying off the posts for a while. Its just that there are so many things going on in life. Every aspect needs attention. And i kinda have become more active recently, the laziness has taken a back seat. (finally :p) Action is the most proactive form of thinking. This is what i've heard from a wise friend of mine. And he's cent percent right. Now there are 2 directions i can take this topic further from here. First is the full-blown psycho-analysis that i subject everything i see, hear and feel to this. Its a very common occurrence. Second, i can do something different. Which is what im attempting to do today.

A clear sky filled with stars which light it up. We humans are in awe of it. We are really not in awe of the sight. Its the possibilities that inspire and wonder us. Its the unknown lying on these stars that trigger our reactions. Cause there's always that goal, that burning, killing desire to achieve something. That's what each person sees when he/she sees the stars. They say the hard and brittle journey of life makes you numb, makes you practical. I'd say being practical is all about ego. Cause we know what we want to achieve and we know how we can achieve it. Its all just inside us. But we gotta go for it. A commonly used expression is "Go grab it by the balls and get it" (sorry for the profanity). Cause time wont stop for you to think about getting it. You gotta go out there and make it happen man.

You want a girl, go and find one for yourself.
You want money, go out there and work your ass off or work really smart.
You want a degree from a top class university, study study study.
You want to travel the world, go and get the resources to.
You want to be a pilot, go talk to a million pilots and find out what's needed.

Sometimes life just is really that simple. Its not about being practical to do things. The human ego does not recognize practicality, it recognizes spirit, perseverance and simple never-ceasing desire. That's what you gotta have. That killer instinct to make your dreams reality. Use that as fuel to do things. you'll find your way. There is no right path or wrong path here. Motivation beats all.

Im generally highly inspired when i write. That inspiration tends to wane once i finish writing. Now im gonna attempt to be inspired even after i write. Cause i know what i need exists as a reality, for now only in my mind. But i gotta turn it to my advantage and do stuff to go and get it.

BE PRACTICAL

A little child watching TV wants to meet Batman. The teenage girl in love with the cutest Backstreet boy wants him to be her "special one". The undying romantic follows his unrequited love to places that kill his spirit and ruin his life. The old man expects his grandchildren to grow up just like he grew up. A dictator ruling the whole world. A terrorist believes killing people can actually save other people. Saving the Earth's natural habitat. A blind girl wanting to see. India giving up Kashmir to Pakistan. Angelina Jolie dumping Brad Pitt for Laloo Prasad Yadav. A 54-year old man wanting to be the next Kurt Cobain. An F1 driver going at 280 kmph in the Bandra-Worli sea link. Man being to be able to travel to distant galaxies.

All the above are examples of stupidity, impracticality, irrationality. Why? Cause they're not feasible? Think again. Some of them have and can actually happen. In fact, i'll go out on a limb and say, that all of them can happen. Its the realm of possibility that makes a difference. To the untrained and unconscious mind, impossibility is impossible. But to the trained and conscious one, it is a very high probability. Dreams are always going to exist, be fulfilled and be shattered. They are part of what make us who we are. But what differentiates people from each other is the emotional attachment that the have towards their dreams. To some, they are just kiddish nonsense. To some, they are a possibility, which they indulge in when their unconscious mind rules them. And to some, they are a reality, they are all around them, they can see them. Its all about belief. A badly used word for belief sometimes is obsession. Are the two interchangeable? Is there a fine line between them?

Hmm. This is a difficult one. Cause a belief can be termed as an obsession and vice-versa. But the general difference is this. A belief is not necessarily bad for you, while an obsession in most cases definitely is. Its unhealthy. Because what you are doing is trying to control what you cannot control. Or trying to control what you can control by using unethical means, i.e. imposing on someone else's FREE WILL. A great line from the movie Bruce Almighty is, "Free will cannot be controlled, not even by God". Its a highly intelligent statement. It posits 2 things, that

If you don't destroy yourself, even God cannot.
If you don't help yourself, even God cannot.

What is evident here is that, you can play a spoilsport in God's plans, in destiny, in what people mistakenly call as fate. Now that is a humongous power. Its the reason why people with principles are the pillars of mankind. But this line into obsession is very thin. Obsession is a result of grief. Of not coming to terms with grief. Ironically, our society shows lots of sympathy towards the grieving, but when they are obsessed, society turns against them. Why so? People who are emotionally attached to things have a hard time accepting their loss and they should be helped out, not rejected and ostracized as fanatics. This is where the "BE PRACTICAL" culture fails. It sucks at this point. They say that emotions are a human's hallmark. But does being practical mean that injustice is done upon the hallmark? Its not really a great metaphor. But what im trying to say is that we dont predict grief, we dont take it for granted. But the getting over part is taken for granted. Society assumes you will get over. Why? Because society assumes that you are selfish and will work only for your benefit. That is a huge misconception. Cause certain people are just crazy enough to devote their time and life to certain things more than their "selfishness". Its funny how it works out. And ironically, these qualities of devoting and giving yourself to something are what society conventionally talks about.

"Devote your life to one woman. Devote your career to one field. Devote yourself to one God. But, but, but, never get to attached to them, cause then we'll come down on you and rip you apart. Cause you have to BE PRACTICAL and move away, give no respect to your emotional attachment."

Talk about major bullcrap. This is at the top of the list for me. Call me egoistic, but i was brought up to respect certain things. And respect for yourself and your spirit is the biggest thing here. The whole BE PRACTICAL culture has its merits, definitely. But sometimes, we just term randomn things as being practical. Only if it makes sense in the conscious realm of possibility do we do things. When the unconscious mind picks up on things, it just shut up and BE PRACTICAL.

GANG WARS

They say that a lot of things are better in your head, not in front of you. Cause if they're right there, you wont notice their novelty, you'll notice what they don't have, you'll notice their flaws. Cause you're built that way. You have absolutely no appreciation for their value, you will want and dream to want better than them. Sigh, human nature. Purposefully, LIFE devised a way for humans to vent and remove all the frustration - Relationships. Very little about the people you have around you talks about competition, arrogance, killer instinct and the predator instinct. Cause its not the base or foundation of your relationship, unlike work. A boss only talks to his employee because he can do a certain job with proficiency. He talks only because his employee is useful to him. Cause he can make money from his work. While a friend, relative or a loved one will generally talk cause he wants to talk to the person in question. Its simple science. The pack hangs together and looks out for each other. Of course one pack will rarely compromise with the other. And thus the resulting "Gang Wars". The wars constitute every little action which we do in the modern society.

When we go to work, we give in to the monetary desires of the autowallahs and taxiwallahs.

When we decide to have a party, we have to take into account how it affects other people in terms of noise and frustration.

When we buy food, we argue with vendor about the edibility of the vegetable.

When we fight and beat up someone, we accept punishment for it. We give in to the LAW.

When we lose someone, we fight with God.

When we get rejected or turned down, we argue with our emotions.

When we have kids, we limit certain parts of ourselves to do only certain kind of things. Its a war.

When we become politicians, we fight the public. They just dont realize it that often.

When we become rich, we fight with the egos of others.

When we give up, we fight with our conscience.

When we die, we fight to go to heaven or hell.

When others die, we fight over their property, money and heritage.

When we decide to be cheerful and enthusiastic all day, we fight against a million pessimists.

When we make a decision, we fight against lots of people that we aspire to be.

When we kiss someone, we fight to make time stop.

When we go by instinct, we fight against the practicality which are expected to obey.

When we sleep, we wrestle with our dreams. We try to make the unreal real.

This brings me to an important point. That at any given moment of our lives, we are in conflict with the UNIVERSE. We fight to earn the right to fight even more. We persevere to persevere some more. When is it said that a person is defeated?? When he/she has nothing left to fight for, or to fight against.

Recently, even I have been drawn into a fight, its more of a rat-race. Percentiles, acads, resumes and job profiles are the order of the day. Survival of the fittest. Atleast on paper. Its just a sophisticated form of brawling like prehistoric cavemen. This rat-race is a highly interesting one cause you never know who wins :) :) All you know is NEXT, MOVE ON , WIN THE NEXT ONE. Right till we die, this is the philosophy. We desire to rise to that pinnacle which does not exist.

I had this kiddish dream of being the "Best Person in the World". Then one day, a very wise person asked me, "the best of what?" I just replied "The best of everything". He replied "Huh. Be practical." I thought at that point that how does one become the "Best Person in the World"? Is it an honour, a prize bestowed for some achievement? Is it being very rich? Is it being highly famous? Is it being the best looking???? What is it? I tried to find the best person in the world, I never found one.

You just can't have tags as these. Cause there are too many underlying and fascinating variables that affect this. People call it destiny. I call it the unpredictability of the EARTH. Im a maths prof. I believe that finding the permutations and combinations of LIFE is the only question which has infinite answers. And one thing is essential, if you wanna ride this fascinating rollercoaster you gotta be tough, cause a hard brake'll throw you off just LIKE THAT. But, but, but. Make sure you try to enjoy the journey :)