Changing

As I was teaching my students, I realized how much i've changed over the past few months. Working, studying and managing personal stuff at the same time. I tried to recall the last time that I felt like I had changed this much in a short duration. Only in my second year did I really change. Its been pretty much stagnant or a pretty similar version of mine since then. This led me to believe in the concept of change cycles. A new environment, a new experience and the need for adaptability can cause change. Its probably one of the most uncertain phases of a person's life - the state of being in the process of change. Your life's actions dont have a fixed direction, or a sense of purpose. Its not a road, but a series of steep turns which determine your final destination. If you have that direction and road demarcated then its all good. But if you're like me - wanting to do everything you can, not missing out on any of life's experiences, then its scary. All you can do IS move forward, be exhilarated by the good stuff and sack UP and take the bad stuff in your stride. Overthinking, or examining the consequences of each and every little action and decision is fatal. Cause you have no way of determining what lies beyond those steep turns. Also not looking back helps. What is done, is done. The concept of a tautological redundancy in most arguments might be there - that if you dont do it, you never will know it, SO THAT'S THE ATTITUDE U GOTTA TAKE.


A lotta people have got a general plan in mind of what they wanna do in their life. For some its earning a massive pile of money, for others its being the best they can be in their field of choice, for some others its also building and maintaining relationships with people...basically emotional satisfaction...and for some its a desire to leave a mark or an imprint on their generation. But all these goals, ambitions are not quantifiable, not measureable...achieving them is the journey, thats the pursuit. And unlike the movie, its not a pursuit for happiness, its a pursuit for identity, a place in the world and a sense of purpose.


Coming back to the point of change cycles, i really believe that there are 2 ways to interpreting, predetrmining or accepting them. Firstly, if you understand that you're changing, you can lead it into a certain direction, direct your focus and energies to change into the person you DESIRE TO BE. Secondly, if you dont recognize the change then you can just go with the flow and one day realize that ur a totally new person. Now you just gotta accept that. This is what happens with most people. Im not saying its bad or wrong, cause going where the wind blows you is a BIG EXPERIENCE in life. The third one is predicting the change cycle....knowing that it'll occur. This is bound to happen only if you've experienced the change cycle before and know the pointers which lead down the road of change.


Lastly, i'd also like to try and quantify the difference between evolution and change. The best i could come up with was that a series of change cycles lead to evolution....the betterment of all characteristics of a person...the tools to survive and make the most out of the wild (metaphorically speaking).....an improvement on previous versions of the same individual....a VERSION 2.0 if you will.


As such their wasnt a specific reason for this post...just a way of venting stuff out....lol...forming crazy theories in my head.