CONFIDENCE

Most people assume that confidence is about being sure about everything you say and do. I think thats something called as self-confidence, not confidence. Confidence is relative. Hell, even Sachin Tendulkar has confidence issues. Its just that in comparision to someone else, you may just totally suck. That's why i believe it is a little daunting to put your best to everything that you do. Cause the fear is there. The deep-seated feeling of insecurity that no matter what you do, how well you prepare, how much desire and passion you show towards it, somethings just may not work out the way you want them to. Its baffling why this happens. Cause all our life we've been taught that the human spirit can overcome anything, that it is big and all-encompassing, that challenges are nothing but minute, little obstacles for THE HUMAN. Cause the HUMAN exceeds all living creatures, it is the supreme being on this planet. But tell me something. Can an ant kill an elephant? Is it possible? IS the HUMAN mind open to such a illogical question? According to most theories of thought, yes, the ant can kill the elephant. But thats theory. Put it into practice and then you'll find out. Im a teacher. I know kids are given false HOPE AND DREAMS everyday. They are told that they can be whatever they want to. But ive observed closely. And some of them, some of them just can't crack the CAT/CET or whatever they want to. Its not because they dont work hard. Cause i see them putting their days and nights into it. They work like absolute machines. But then why are they not given the respect that they deserve? And ya, ill admit it. A lotta them do work harder than me. Then why the bigotry, the second-handed treatment and the pressure from their peers and parents? Just because they're not inherently talented like some maniacs. Appreciation in this world is highly biased. Only to the good and brave and successful do the plaudits go. The others can eat dust.

This is the problem with a capitalist society. Survival of the fittest. The bad things in life are never praised, cause we want to be impressed, we want that gratification that all that we're associated with is freaking awesome. But its not. Most of the things around us are ordinary. The people we know are ordinary. The place where we stay is ordinary and the life that we live is ordinary. Its all about perspective and here lies that inherent quality of confidence. Don't tell me that you've never seen a Sachin Tendulkar, a Shahrukh Khan or an Angelinda Jolie and said that "I DONT WANT HIS/HER LIFE". If you can say that with 100% percent clarity and honesty, then you're a freaking king. But most of us are just bull-shitting oursleves. We'll tell others something else but know that the truth is different. Cause we know if we admit it, we'll be called "wannabees", "numbskulls" or some other sarcastic insult. Most people know their level and very few can raise it to another one. That's not the sad part. The sad part is that those who cant, but work like dogs to do it are never given any credit. that's what pisses me off. The common labourer, the house-maid, the building watchman, the havaldar, the clerk/peon in an office, the garbage collection man. These guys may work like crazy, but no, they are viewed as the lowest level that you can sink to. Imagine what sorta confidence they have. And on top of that if they'd hear some stupid psycho-babble about achieving anything you want in your life, they'd feel like shit.

There are losers everywhere. Its just that some people call them that, and others GET TO KNOW THEM. They get used to it. Used to thinking that they're the lowest rung of the ladder. That no matter what they do, they'll suck at it. But so what?? Even if they suck at it, atleast they're trying. They're living their life, putting their all, experiencing stuff. Just cause they weren't born with wonderful parents, money, intelligence, does it make them any lesser than us. Even segregation based on intelligence is DISCRIMINATION. Its just that that segregation is not viewed in the same light as a lets say, racial division or division based on caste. You might argue here that people cannot change their caste or race, but get real, lotta ppl cant even change their level of intelligence. Its just the media and big, fancy corporates who drill people that intelligence can be achieved via hard work and dedication. These people are the real LOSERS because they judge you by your CV, your academic record, how much money you make or which college you're from. What criterions are those? Even the dumbest, stupidest fellow on this planet can get into a brilliant college because his father has money. Does that mean that all the autowallahs and taxiwallahs in Mumbai are lower than him? Who really determines such stuff and why? Ill tell you. Its the people who are successful who do this. The people who are at the top of their game are the ones who come up with methods, designs, IQ tests and graphs to rate HUMANS. The word confidence does not exist. Ill tell you what. A person can only truly be confident when he knows that he is better than EVERYONE ELSE at EVERYTHING. Everything else is self-confidence or just playing up to your good qualities. Its not bad, cause to survive in life you have to only talk about the good stuff about yourself. Otherwise, you're mincemeat.

This is not a pessimistic post, but just a brutally honest one. If you really want to be confident I believe that no matter how many times you fail, you should not accept it. Cause for a confident person, there is no failure. Everything is feedback. Everything is knowledge on how to improve himself. As long as he has that desire and fire to improve, he/she should be respected, no matter if he is the King of Brunei or Ramu the milkman.

Jai Hind. (Our wonderful country has not yet descended completely into barbaric capitalism, so lets rejoice that for a brief, fleeting moment)

EMOTIONAL ATYAACHAAR

Man, am i sleepy right now. Then why am I writing? Why spend time meticulously writing and expressing when i could be sleeping like a log after a hard day's night? :p (for all u Beatles fans out there). Cause I believe that what I want to say is important. It might be the most insignificant thing on this planet, but since its mine, its important to me. Joy, Love, Pride. These are the things that one lives for, the things that separate us from the other animals out there. What is fascinating though, is that these emotions are of no use if they're felt constantly. Only by achieving, experiencing or analyzing a certain situation, can these emotions be truly felt. I experienced so many emotions in the past week. Mind-numbing happiness, gut-wrenching despair, self-induced lethargy, woman-induced anger and work-induced stress. It felt like an overkill of emotions. Why did i feel so? Cause they all happened so quickly, so fast, i didn't have time to savor them, even the bad ones. Maybe this is what makes the Modern Man numb, not a lack of emotions, but a multitude of fast-approaching and fast-departing emotions. It happens to such an extent that He might become apathetic towards it. That's where the real trouble lies. If He's not able to appreciate the beauty of a simple sunset (not the one at Sunset point in Mahabaleshwar, a normal one), if he's not able to feel pity for a beggar with both his hands cut off, if he's not able to enjoy a romantic walk in the rain, if he is not able to recognize the beauty of Test Match Cricket (yes, i said TEST MATCH :p), if he is not able to feel that excited feeling in the pit of his stomach when he goes to talk to a pretty girl and if he cant recognize the value that his parents have brought to him, then what's the point?? Why live if some of these basic emotions and feelings are negated? Why earn money? Why work hard? Why exist on this planet?

In this age of instant gratification, no emotion is ever experienced completely. You're surprised one minute, appalled the next and frustrated the next. When external sources can control your emotions to such an extent that you cant savor these things, then you actually start to wonder if you're a man or a machine. I think this is what kills most people. No, i dont mean kills in the physical sense. I mean, it kills their spirit, their innate ability to emote and their child-like enthusiasm for life. It grows to such an extent that even having fun becomes a task, or work or a mindless process. Contact people, set up the details, pass on relevant information, clear up schedules to "MAKE TIME" for fun. That's not FUN, its a burdened, heavy and feeble representation of FUN. Its like playing Need for Speed instead of driving a sports car, like checking out pictures of the Niagara Falls instead of actually going there or using Facebook to be connected to people instead of actually meeting them in the flesh. When time is less, and emotions are low on the priority list, this is what happens. Man becomes sucked into that hole of selfishness from which there is no escape, until one day he realizes that true happiness is a state of mind, not a "thing" or "ambition" that can be achieved.

Happiness is a multi-varied, multi-dimensioned thing. People claim to experience it a lot, to describe it, to give pointers to "achieve" it. But you cannot direct towards or describe happiness to a person. It has different meanings for different people. A person may be happy if he has money, he may be happy if he has women, he may be happy if he lives in the mountains, he may be happy if he is always alone or he may be happy if he is sleeping. This is what gets me thinking about the paradox in emotions. If you don't experience them, you're not living. And if you experience them too much, then also you're not living.

Though ive touched the concept of too much emotion, im coming back to it. Its hard to define and predict when, where and how you will experience emotion. That's its beauty. Even in the most unimaginable situations, your feelings and emotions could always surprise you. Also another logic can be that each person has a different emotional range, thus the concept of "too much emotion" is a relative one. The term "emotional atyaachaar" has become famous via a recent bollywood movie. But what exactly is this "emotional atyaachaar" ? Too many feelings clouding your head at one point, you feeling bad about lots of things or you unable to feel any emotion at all? All the above are inter-linked, and herein lies the main dilemma. The human body cannot be studied like a machine, theories about the heart can never be proved true and man's brain can never be fully explained. All these questions, but no answers. Seems like science has failed us and progression of technology is actually making things tougher than what they are, at least to the heart and mind. Cause the heart and mind do not understand science and technology, cause science and technology is just a feeble, inaccurate representation of how this amazing, amazing world works.

I think this post has now caused a certain chaos of feelings in me. When that happens, the best you can do is just relax and go to sleep. I thinks its my cue to do just that. Good night.

THEORIES OF ATTRACTION

Today was the first day that I really missed her. As a guy, you dont "miss" that often. You kinda realize that it is on your mind, but maybe being the testosterone-charged man, you try to push it out of your mind, you think its a little girlish. But that's not how it works. You gotta deal with it, cause all those feelings come out in ways more intense and drastic than just calling her up and bringing up her name in most conversations. Hell, men go into depression and kill themselves cause of such stuff. Its the male ego, of wanting things really bad, of not giving up, of not accepting life's situations. Its the same reason why more men go to IIT's, IIM's and the world's top colleges. You see, ever since he is a little boy, the Man's aim has always been to excel, to be at the top of the food chain, to want everything so badly that it drives Him to do crazy things. Its deep ingrained passion. In fact, contrary to popular belief, I think that IITian's are some of the most passionate people. They dedicate years of their lives to something, and do it in the best possible manner. You might say that some of them do it all for the money, but even that's passion, and there's absolutely nothing wrong in wanting money. Most of us do, we just dont say it that loudly.

I think men are more passionate then women. They just have weird ways of showing it, or dont know how to show it. Somehow, women believe that unless you show emotion, you're a heartless dull dweeb. There's an old saying, "Actions speak louder than words". If you think of all the crazy things that people in love do, then men are much, much crazier. Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal for Mumtaz. Paris bedded Helen of Sparta and was the direct cause for the destruction of Troy, his motherland. Edward VIII abdicated the throne of England to marry Wallis Simpson. Prince Charles got married to his lifelong lover till at the age of 60, irrespective of what the whole of England and his sons thought. Yes, women have that magical ability to get men to do anything THEY WANT. But a woman will never, and i mean never ever, love a man who can't get WHAT HE WANTS. It's animal instinct that governs such stuff. Women are not consciously aware of it, but that's what it is. Even science says that hormone secretion increases in extremely passionate situations.

Coming back to the woman that I missed today. What I missed about her was the arrogance, the natural tendency to gainsay all that I tried to do. The technical term is "mismatcher" or "polarity responder". You cannot and should not be nice to such women. Not cause they'll make u a "nice guy", but because they dont like it themselves, and face it, being mean is just much easier then being nice :p. Then, why did I miss the condescending attitude? Cause i like challenges. Every man does. The difference is that, some men actually commit themselves to overcome these challenges. While the others sit around thinking its not their cup of tea - without even trying. Okay, guys and girls, Im gonna let you in on a massive secret. Its a common pattern in every single woman. Here goes.

"A universal truth is that every woman is attracted to a man with PERSONAL AUTHORITY. It does not matter if the man has money, if he has looks, if he is a charmer or if he is an achiever. Self-authority is the ability to get your heart's innermost desire. Right from wanting to gift her something great for her birthday to actually getting into the Harvard Business School, a man with personal authority will always be loved passionately by all kinds of women."

I request every woman reading this post to look inside your heart to find that one person who you're attracted to irresistibly and connect it to this post. If you think about that person's qualities and think deeply, you'll find structure and patterns in how you feel a certain way.

For all the men reading this post, I'd like to say that any of you, and i mean any of you, can be with any girl you desire cause the bottom line is that animal instinct governs such stuff. And if you're "just one ordinary man", she's "just one ordinary woman too".

THE CLOCK

The clock is a sign of strength, a sign of power. Big businessmen with big meetings, and big pay packages live their life in accordance to a clock. Their day is based around their schedule.

The clock is a sign of boredom, with students's eyes transfixed on them everyday, waiting for the time to pass quicker, so that they can be done with lectures and enjoy the remainder of the day.

The clock is a symbol of opportunity, it carries each person's hopes and dreams. To utilize the time remaining ahead in their lives to LIVE, not just exist.

The clock is a symbol of hope and desperation. It indicates survival. A boxer in trouble wishes to be saved by the bell. An F1 driver wishes his rival is slower by a microsecond, so that he can qualify for the next knockout round. The minnows of test cricket, waiting the end of the 5th day to save them defeat in a test match

The clock is a sign of change. The hands move constantly, as life does. And no matter how much you resist it, it will move, and you're dragged along. Accept it, get used to it, make sure you are prepared for it; as herein lies the inherent beauty of life.

The clock is a paradox. It tells you to move forward, but also to enjoy every moment that you get. Cause later when you'll look back, you'll be happy.

The clock is a sign of repetition. For a salesman, it shows the circular nature of his life. Home-sales calls-home-sales calls-home. For a translator, it depicts the monotony of his life, where his job has absolutely no variation. For Superhero, it shows the rest of his life. Save people-save people-save people.

The clock is a ticking timebomb. For people in their later years, its a sign that Death will come for them sooner or later. For a suicide bomber, it is about being a martyr after the stipulated time has elapsed. For Ajmal Amir Kasab, it is a sign of when that inevitable noose will tighten around his neck.

The clock is a reminder. Teenage girls lost in dreams about their soulmates stop when they look at the clock and remember to do their homework. Hardcore gamers look at the clock and realize that they should probably venture into the outside world for human contact.

The clock is a pointless idea. Robots will say, why measure time?? Why waste so much equipment and resources to measure something you dont need to, cause you will live forever. (as long as someone keeps your battery charged :p)

The clock is a sign of money. For the CFO's of Rado, Tag Huer, and Titan millions of dollars every year are generated just by watch sales.

The clock is a sign of longing and desire. For a little child pickpocket in the first class compartment of the Churchgate local, dandy businessmen's wrists are objects of fascination.

The clock is the symbol of the Nationalist Congress Party.

The clock is a symbol of China. The first timing devices were made their, ie. the sundial, metal clock etc. China has come out with the most varied and innovative clocks over the centuries.

The clock is a sign of numbers and maths, which play such an important role in the progress of mankind.

EVOLUTION OF ROCK

The following is supposed to be my take on how Rock and Roll has progressed over the years. (With a little help from Wikipedia :p :p) Let’s hope it is as successful as some of Darwin’s theories about evolution 

PART 1

A lot of people wonder why a lot of other people love music which a lot of firang people have composed over the past 4o years. It’s no surprise that at a first listen most people cannot comprehend the lyrics of a rock song; let alone comprehend what it stands for. That is at the stage when you think that its just noise, with a bunch of long-haired maniacs trying to get themselves a neck brace. They had a famous saying in the 70’s, that Rock n Roll isn’t just music; it’s a way of life. And how true they were, that now, even 40 years later, every teenager is affected by it – in his/her own manner.

The roots of rock can be recognized in one word: Rebellion. It was never made to be pleasing to the ear, like techno, never made to make girls swoon, like pop and never made to earn a whole lotta moolah like hip-hop; it was made to be identified with, to make a connection with the uncivilized part of each man and woman. It spoke of breaking the rules, not just to be cool, as many people think; but to recognize the fact that no one can govern a person’s life, he can do whatever he wants. It asked a simple question, why so many rules and restrictions? Why the need for society to impose its thoughts on people who wanted to be free? Darn right, it was as anti-social as one could get, but contrary to what a lot of people think now, it did and still does make perfect sense. The first rockers were caged souls, literally. They were black slaves who started playing such songs as a form of rebellion against the white man. The expression “Rock and Roll” has its origins here. The term “rocking” was used by black gospel singers to indicate spiritual rapture, while “roll” – literally meant “sex”. The earliest form of “rock and roll” was inspired from pre-existent genres like jazz, rhythm and blues and beat music. It emphasized more on the backbeat of the song, with a quicker guitar riff and wailing vocals. A highly sonorous piano was also used here. Little Richard was one of the first artists to combine these elements in his mid-fifties works.



This innovation of this new sound cascaded into the late 50’s and culminated to the rise to the most popular rocker the world has ever known, Elvis Presely. Such was his voice, style and charisma; he alone propelled rock n roll into the limelight. John Lennon once said,” If there wasn’t an Elvis, there’d never be The Beatles”. Till Elvis, rock and roll was more of an anonymous movement; it never really captured the attention of the masses, kinda like what today’s underground movements are like. But with hits such as “Jailhouse Rock”, “Heartbreak Hotel”, “Blue Suede Shoes”, “Hound Dog” and many more, the public was captivated. His live performances were known to be legendary, for his amazing stage presence, charming good looks and of course, his infamous body gyrations. Elvis had a huge cultural impact. Of course, he did have some detractors as well, with some of his peers such as Frank Sinatra proclaiming that he had mainly recycled the black man’s music; but all it did was enhance Presley’s persona and gave him even more mainstream attention. And even today, we can comfortably say that “Elvis hasn’t left the building”, as he inspires generation after generation.


Elvis did inspire The Beatles, but theirs is a more traditional rise. In the late 50’s, the rock and roll movement was strong in Britain, with a lot of upcoming bands. The Quarrymen, as they were initially known, played in clubs in Hamburg for a few years, until the popularity of the hit single “Love Me Do”. They bagged a record deal and became The Beatles, creating some of the most impactful and historically significant albums ever; such as Please Please Me (1963), With the Beatles (1963) and A Hard Day’s Night (1964). In 1963, they crossed over into the American market and created what is known in popular culture as “Beatlemania”. Just like Elvis, the unexpected popularity and wealth didn’t suit the Beatles, and thus their forays into frequent drug usage, and alcoholic revelry. This was very much evident in their music, which evolved into psychedelic rock. Here, instrumentals were common, while songs with lyrics were sometimes conceptual, abstract, or based in fantasy and science fiction. Their studio mates, Pink Floyd were, at the same time creating The Piper At the Gates of Dawn (1967) – a psychedelic masterpiece. This album was the vision of Syd Barrett, unfortunately known more for his personal demons rather than his ground-breaking music. This however, was just the beginning of Pink Floyd, as they pushed the boundaries of psychedelic music, venturing into progressive rock and occasionally dabbing in other genres for weird and different sounds. Some of these examples are evident in “Echoes” – a 17 minute epic. A few years earlier, The Beatles had just released Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967) – their most recognizable and influential album ever. Due to internal struggles soon, and the departure of John Lennon, The Beatles soon broke-up. Pink Floyd, however, had better luck. The release of The Dark Side of The Moon (1973) catapulted them to international stardom and their legacy in rock and roll history was assured. With albums like Wish You Were Here (1975), Animals (1977) and The Wall (1979), they achieved cult status.


------This is just PART 1……please stay tuned for PART 2….it’ll be uploaded the moment I finish writing it :p :p

Thumbs Up to PROMETRIC

Before you read the title and conclude that just because my CAT went glitch free, I'm pro-Prometric. That's not the case. My PC malfunctioned in the middle of my exam. But, why am I still complementing these buffoons called Prometric? Read on.

Computer Based Tests or CBT's are the future. If banks use online systems instead of logs, if the share market uses a centrally connected server for all transactions, and if we use iPOD's and mp3 players instead of gramophones, then why not CBT's? All the proceses in the world are going tech, so why should exams be left behind? The CAT is probably the most competitive test in the world, in terms of statistics - 2.4 lakh appeared this year and only around 1800 will finally get into the IIM's. The conversion ratio is higher even for top-notch B-schools like Harvard and Wharton. Thus it is imperative that it be technology-based, as this saves a huge number of resources such as paper and manual labour. CBT's are highly streamlined and they are ideally computer-adaptive, such as the GRE or GMAT. From experience, i can tell you that the GRE will give you an accurate analysis of your abilities. However, this year's CAT paper was not adaptive, thus the varying levels of difficulty in 20 papers over 10 days.

The hooplah over awarding the contract for CAT to Prometric has been massive only now, once technical glitches were noticed. Prometric has a great track record with the GRE, TOEFL, UBS, American Medical License exam etc., so no one complained when they were given the contract in the first place. But, conducting a Computer-Based exam in India is highly difficult - with the technology issues and high number of students appearing. I believe that Prometric has done a great job, with a highly simple and user-friendly interface, which allows the non-English speakers to understand the process with ease. The technical support staff at most centres have been very helpful, and tried their best to eliminate glitches. (to verify this, please check www.pagalguy.com, extensive analysis is done) The re-scheduling process has also been smooth for most people (the media only focuses on the few bad cases), and even the security checks have been very well-conducted at most places.

My personal testing experience was awesome. I entered the test centre hassle-free, with no long lines as has been predicted. The security was strict, but not to the point of frustrating the test-takers. The co-ordinators were helpful, organized and definitely knew what they were doing. The biometrics were much quicker as compared to the GRE, and the PC's were in good condition and functioning well. My only complaint lies with the IIM's, not Prometric. This is because the IIM's decide the format, difficulty level and overall percentile scoring bases for the paper. The IIM's chose to go with such easy papers, the IIM's chose to not take a test run before the actual CAT (btw Prometric does test runs everywhere), the IIM's decided not to disclose the scoring pattern, and the IIM's decided to keep only a short 10-day window. Thus most of the blame lies on their shoulders. But the actual testing experience was really commendable and well-planed for a massive number such as 2.4 lakh over 10 days.

The chief trouble-maker in the whole process is the media, with its exaggerations and extreme statistics. India TV, Aaj Tak, Star News, even NDTV were turning the CAT process into a massive sob-story. This is the root of most problems with Indian media today. Almost all of them mis-inform the viewer for that extra high TRP rating, thus turning news too into an extension of the sappy, emotional dramas that are the staple diet of most Indian audiences today (yes, even men watch these serials with an intense regularity :o ). Infact, even today's youngsters watch such stuff more frequently than they will want to admit. Its a pity that Indian Tv hasn't evolved over the years from serials and reality contests.

Coming back to the CAT debate, I sincerely believe that Prometric was the right choice to conduct the IIM CAT 09 and i hope that once the initial-teething in problems are settled this year, next year's CAT will be a breeze for all parties involved....though I do hope, I dont have to give it, cause my CAT this year was awesome :) :) (I guess im just being optimistic here :p )

ENGINEERING LIFE

I go to college to see the sights and sounds,

To escape the monotony and visit the Bhavan’s grounds,

To eat at Shetty’s, Vrindavan and Parking Lot,

To go to the Xerox shop everyday with a new lot,

To waste most of my day in lectures one after one,

To try and bear profs who’ll leave us only when its done.

To do practical’s about which we don’t care diligently,

To wait for the prof to leave and laugh cynically,

To cry and cry for the lab assistant to come and assist us,

To suck up to some prof in the viva who makes a huge fuss,

To increase our GK as about who ate up how much money,

To talk and talk about things that are hilariously funny.

To understand if something’s being said with a pervert mind,

To abuse the office staff who are a pain and unkind.

To copy assignments and journals which are our toughest tests,

To bunk college lectures to do work for various unsuccessful fests,

To catch the latest flicks after 5 pm on Tuesdays,

To gossip about profs whose salaries a student pays,

To go to FTA pracs to play Warcraft and CS,

To get placed in companies from CISCO to Zeus,

To do assignments and journals on the last bench,

To go to the toilet when its got an inglorious stench,

To beg an autowallah to take us to Bhavan’s

To say “FU” when he listen’s to a hot girl’s summons,

To give friends the best view of our paper in exams,

To see the prof smile and turn away with no qualms,

To get a good job so that people get off our back,

To finish 4 years of hell so that we get our life back on track.

DISCLAIMER : The views given here are not pertaining to any one individual and just represent a stereotypical view of a general engg student....its not meant to offend anybody and is completely fictional in nature :) :) :)