ADG's ABC

PROGRESS FEEDS PROGRESS

2011-08-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

Every day I am overwhelmed by the vastness, complexity and wonder of the world around me. It is surprising that a man’s brain holds such immense power. To change, to create and to destroy, is a great gift that is bestowed only to man. The world has been designed by numerous such men, all of them great visionaries, leaders and philosophers. When I was young, my aim was to be such a Man of Power, a Man of Strength. A man like Alexander the Great, like Leornado Da Vinci, like Issac Newton and like Martin Luther King. These were men who created a dynasty, a change so strong that they had to be remembered and revered. Their legacy lives on in the heart and minds of people to this day. In the same vein, my biggest dream was to be remembered for something special, something so eternal that my name would be cherished for years after I died.

Now, these were just childhood dreams. Dreams that a lot of little boys and girls have. As I grew older, I looked deeper and thought much more about these ambitions. The caliber of the men that I aspired to be was definitely of the highest order. But I had made a mistake in what they contributed to the world in an overall sense. I realized that no man is bigger than the human race, and that no single man can define generations forever. It is all about progress. Each man builds on another man’s work, on his art and on his desire. If it was not for men like Galileo and Nicolas Copernicus, Newton would have never formulated his three laws. If it was not for the audacious moves of Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King would have never fought racism so successfully. I realized that the people I aspired to be like had just done their small bit in the constant process of improving human life. They had brought the end result, but the process had been going on for centuries. They just did their small parts in a big big way. Thus, I try to think of myself as a man who will do small things in a big way, I can just do my part and not worry about the rest. Cause the rest will take care of itself.

INTROSPECTION

2011-04-10T05:35:00.001-07:00

I’m living two lives, on the inside and the outside
Above me, I can see the pathway to golden pride
But beneath me, lies a consuming incessant restlessness
The desire to know my desires is too hard to suppress

I question myself everyday, what I’m doing and why
Frustration and angst fill me, but somehow I gotta try
To curb this revolution, to stop the introspect
Cause I know what I have, could be the only chance I’ll get

The pursuit of satisfaction
Or the life I’ve made
Disturbing distressing emotion
Or a life in the shade
The need to be my own person
Or what people need me to be
Whatever the answer, when I’m done
I know that it’ll set me free

The journey of exploration, a perturbing desire to change
If I try harder, the dream can be my life so strange
This dilemma consumes me completely, need to break out
The more and more I think, more I’m shrouded in self-doubt

I’m analyzing and introspecting, a bolt hits me out of the blue
What if I could decide my future, would be too surreal to be true
We all crave that power, but who wields it we’ll never know
Finally I realize, what I wanna reap I need to sow

The pursuit of satisfaction
Or the life I’ve made
Disturbing distressing emotion
Or a life in the shade
The need to be my own person
Or what people need me to be
Whatever the answer, when I’m done
I know that it’ll set me free

I need to put insecurity, anguish, despair and fear to one side
Forget what I need to be, forget my insides as if they’ve died
I’ll just explore and be patient till I become what I be
But I’m sure of this, the answer is lurking somewhere within me

CHOOSING BELIEFS

2010-07-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

For a long time, I've wanted to write my opinions on beliefs. Cause beliefs are more than just a surety, a thought. The brain and heart are indelibly fused while accepting something as the real thing. Once a choice is made, it gets emotionally coded in your head. Every further such choice will be compared to the previous one by your rationale. For example, a student who has once failed will know that the possibility of failure exists. The next time he gives an exam, he knows that he is no longer invincible. Thus he makes the "choice" of preparing absolutely perfectly and appearing for the paper. Any further exam given re-enforces this choice.

Nowadays, most of us believe that the choices we have made are right for us. There was a time when a person couldn't repudiate the establishment's beliefs. The dogmatic, narrow-minded views of the pre-renaissance catholic church come to mind. Galileo said that the earth was round, which was against the church's opinion. So it was deemed as heresy. What's interesting is that I am sure Galileo must have made a choice to believe so. The choice to trust scientific experiments over any other. All his life he kept on making this choice, till one fine day he announced that the world is round. To others, it was like a bolt out of the blue. Unfortunately for the church, it turned out to be true. And so they took their time to diplomatically "adjust" their beliefs. Its similar to the behavior of a sore loser refusing to admit his inferiority. Or the stubbornness of a little child when denied a chocolate. However, Im 100% sure the Pope at the time of Galileo must have surely believed that the world was flat till his dying breath. Cause his repeated choices have emotionally coded that into his brain.

Today's governments are the popes and churches of the 21st century. They each define their LAWS. They're just waiting to enforce them. And if you want to live in a particular country, you have to follow their LAWS. Translation - Believe what they believe. North Korea places the country above humanity. If you want to stay amicably in North Korea, you will have to too. That does not mean North Korea is right or wrong, it just chooses to believe that. When you choose to believe in God, you choose to follow a moral code. You refuse to believe in the Big Bang.

The day the brain has finally developed, beliefs have developed. According to that, everyone's beliefs are developed by the age of 18. Thus all their future choices and desires are all determined. The trouble lies in identifying and interpreting their beliefs. That is the process which can take a few minutes to a few decades, depending on the intuitiveness of the person or their ability to self-analyze unemotionally. Failure to identify the beliefs or "the repeated choices made since childhood" results in intense physical and mental side effects or something commonly known as "disappointments and failures".

An exception to the above is that lots of people have made inconsistent choices throughout their formative years, thus resulting in a feeling of confusion or loneliness when they become adults. In observing the subtleties of behavior, this can be better inferred. A man who doodles over simple activities and procrastinates over things is constantly making and re-making decisions. Of course the degree of procrastination does matter, but in general he has a higher probability of finding it difficult to believe in or commit to anything.

I have the good fortune of knowing a person who is completely self-aware. Thus, this is what i have learned from that person in the many interactions that we have had.

Of course, all that is written above is neither right nor wrong. I am just choosing to believe it.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

2010-05-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, its required to be a little resistant to things. Cause you gotta know yourself and make a decision as to what you need to do to achieve the things you want. That is the basic function of the human brain, to understand, to imbibe and to reason. Now, most of the things that you decide to do are spontaneous, the brain is wired in such a way, that they become a reflex, what is also called as "second nature". To control that is the challenge, cause you know that in a lot of cases this "second nature" is what brings you down, it is what makes you a slave to your own self. It may sound like a trivial thing to try and control every response you send out, but if you know and understand how these responses affect your psyche, then its better to try to curb them. For example, if you know that booze makes you emotional, unhappy and just plain bitter, don't drink so much. Cause you know that its just going to generate negativity, and you'll be stewing in a pot of self-pity by the end of the night. On the other hand, if you know that listening to music early in the morning energizes you, then keep doing that, cause its good to get out the early morning blues. They say that knowing what you want is the key to success. I think that knowing yourself is the first key to success. As long as you can do things that cause you to be comfortable in your own skin, to make you not want to be somebody else, then you're fine. If that's not the case, then you've got loads of soul searching to do, my friend.

And it all begins with acknowledgment. Acknowledge that you're not happy, acknowledge that there are regrets and mistakes at every point. Accept them at the physical level. Realize that they happened cause of your own faults. "All causes of misery are internal". Once one understands this fact, then one can build towards happiness. Life is always going to throw obstacles at you, you gotta find your way through them and emerge as a self-made person. Cause that is what you are supposed to be, that is why you have been blessed with a brain. Ill give you a very specefic example for this. Have you ever felt that feeling of being lost, when everything around you and everyone seems unfamiliar. It may be in a new country, at a drug-addled party, at a gathering in your new college, in a newly painted and furnished room or in an empty train at 12:30 am. The feeling is the essence of the loneliness that people feel when they lose a sense of who they are. Cause that sense of theirs is related to external things. Their friends might define and affect their opinions of themselves, they see a mirror everyday to see how good-looking they are, their top-range BMW provides them a feeling of status. All these things leave imprints in their mind and are a massive part of their process of self-evaluation. And when these things are absent, they lose sense of themselves, cause the thing that defines them is gone. Its like they have no meaning. Its like the movie "Lost in Translation". In a new country, when no one understands you, and nothing can really emphathize with you, you look for pillars of support, for people, things, places that can redefine or give you a sense of purpose and meaning. Its the reason why Indians, how much ever they might hate each other, try and stick together abroad. Its the reason why people go to temples, to find themselves. Its the reason why people have favourite places and things. Things and places that provide them that extra definition to their life. Things that tell them why they are where they are. Things that make them say "THIS IS ME".

An important fact that people forget is that all these are impermanent, ephemeral. Once you learn to be content and with yourself irrespective of the external environment, thats real power. Thats real enlightenment, thats a real sense of purpose. Cause all that is within you is all that is required to make you move forward. Thats when you become a universal citizen, a man/woman, with no dependence on any sect, person, situation, thing, drug or emotion to keep your sense of yourself. As long as your ever-present breath, just the fact that you are living can be that anchor, can be that pillar of support, can be that defining thing in your life, then you are FREE, totally and utterly FREE.

HUMILITY

2010-04-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

Humility is a really curious thing. To not have it, is to expose yourself to the possibility of misery. Cause having an ego does lead to great things, but it also leads to misery sometimes. Humility might keep you stable and happy, but it may not garner adulation and appreciation for you all the time. Of course the argument is also there that a truly humble person does not want adulation and appreciation. He is content in doing his own thing, living in his own world. I guess with maturity comes humility. You may have committed mistakes in the past, things that have negatively affected your life in lots of ways. Lots of people do admit to them, but it takes a big man/woman to pay the price for them. How many murderers would voluntarily go to jail? How many drug addicts would voluntarily go to rehab?

Paying the price for a mistake is the law of nature. It should happen. For the betterment of the people involved. Cause it lingers with your conscience otherwise and comes out in negative forms. Accepting it and dealing with it is the best way to move forward. Because it is the reality which you are facing. And no one, and i mean no one, can stay oblivious to reality for the long run.

IMPROVED INTROSPECTION

2010-04-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

Its 4:30 am. I haven't been writing for a few days, but today the urge suddenly returns. Maybe i didn't have a reason to write these past few days as i was so busy doing things - things which are related directly/indirectly to my future. A myriad world is around us, but yet we make our way silently and patiently doing these "things" which seem to have the most bearing on our lives. The law of Karma is what governs our lives, even if we choose to admit it or not. It is a simple law, one that is easy to understand, but hardest to implement. Cause our minds work faster than our bodies, we imagine ourselves doing a thousand things before they actually happen, creating a world of "skewed reality" around us. We build hopes and dreams around these pseudo-realities. And when things dont happen as we want them to, or against our wishes, we cry, we rant and we let all the negativity in. Part of our lives are consumed by this negativity which is a burden, a chain, that is curbing our growth, our life. It needs to be eliminated, cause we, as human beings desire to be happy. That is our ultimate goal, cause we have senses of touch, of taste, of sound, of sight and smell. We want to please these senses, that is all. Everything we do in this world is to please our senses. You might argue, that satisfying one's ego is not pleasing of the senses. But it is, as science has shown that pleasant sensations run across the body if one's ego is satiated.

A highly important concept in life is to just observe these sensations, don't develop an emotional attachment to them. Cause they are impermanent, so dont crave for them or dont hate them. Just see them for what they really are. These were the teachings of Buddha. And he raught us a way to just observe them. A wonderful technique called as Vipassana meditation. I wont go into the details of the technique, as it can be best understood by experience, but what i will say is that, it is not something that tells you to forget about life and worldly matters. It is something that tells you to have a strong determination to move forward no matter what happens in your life. It teaches you that everything you feel, see, hear, taste and see is ephemeral. Enjoy it, but do not desire it all the time. Cause these sensations are beyond your control. They occur at the subtlest level of the mind. Your job is not to react to them.

A large part of me always felt that teaching was not a big deal. It was just anything else. In terms of skill it is, but in terms of Karma, its gold. Absolute gold. Imparting knowledge of any sort is a noble act, as it is a positive thing to do, it shows a way forward. A way to a place where you are helping yourself. And this is the biggest act of Karma. Realize that you are are helping yourself by every positive thing you do for yourself or for others. Realize that you are harming yourself by every negative thing you do for yourself or for others. Now a lot of philosophy feels like intellectual enjoyment, but it matters what you do with that philosophy. Just be aware of guidelines and do your work. Life is simple, our inabilities make it complicated.

The above are not really my original ideas. they draw heavily from the teachings of Buddha. I recently went for a Vipassana meditation course and imbibed some of these. I must say that after 10 days in isolation I realized the cause of a lot of things. Of why we suffer, why we enjoy, why we feel things the way we do. Its all internal. All answers to our questions lie within ourselves. I highly recommend the Vipassana course for anyone interested in answers to abstract questions.

P.S. The image is that of a baby meditating. :)

LIFE IS FOR LIVING

2010-03-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

To be honest to yourself is a big thing. Most people cannot do it. Cause they always try to judge themselves from another person's perspective. Its a very addictive thing to do. Cause you can see yourself in the light you always wanted to. And you can put the blame on the other person, saying that he/she thinks that i am like this, he/she believes that these are my qualities. Now you may say that, but what you're internally trying to do is making the other person define your virtues and who you are. This is done to adjust yourself to a vision of who you aspire to be. Its one of the biggest smoke and mirrors tendencies that all humans have. Its emotional attachment to who you want to be. Its a difficult thing to control because your heart is going "Yea, that's me, Im so awesome", but a voice in your head goes "Dude, that's bullshit, you're not so great". Now obviously, most of us want to overpower that voice in your mind, cause you dont wanna hear it . You wanna live in the fairytale that your heart is capable of. It's what happens when people are deluded about themselves and their abilities. The best football player in the world...when does he think he is the best? Is it after he wins the FIFA Footballer of the Year award, or wins a World Cup, or Champions League medal? Its hard to define. And desire plays such a huge role. There are 2 kinds of effect that undying, never-ceasing desire can have.

First : When an outsider defines you the way you want to be defined, you can go "Yes, my goal is accomplished. Ive achieved what I want to be". NOW, he uses this desire to THINK about how great he is, to look at his past, predict his future and really be full of self-pride. Its an emotional moment. And these guys are more emotional than most others.

Second : When an outsider defines you the way you want to be defined, you can go "Wow, great compliment, but am i really that good? Cause i sucked at certain things yesterday. HMMM....maybe i should use this as fuel to propel me further. I shouldn't judge myself the way others judge me. That's a dangerous thing to do" Cause a lot of things are impermanent, and it pays to move on. All you can do, is try your hardest in the current moment, be the best your abilities and situations allow you to be.

It requires intense mind control to be like the second person. To not get carried away. To cut-off from the rest of the world. Its scary, cause you're kind of denying your mind all the pleasures and thoughts it wants to indulge into. You're preventing yourself from being seduced by an external locus of identity. Most of the world champs of today are of the second kind. They see life for what it is, not what they want it to be. Just the other day, at Dadar station i saw the happiest person alive. It was a menial cobbler. The moment he started cleaning shoes, all he could hear/see/feel was that. That was his LIFE at the present. He was not interested in anything else. His poverty, illiteracy and harsh life seemed to be outta the window in that particular moment. Once he was finished, he had a content smile on his face even before he was paid. Now he may not be a Ratan Tata or a Shahrukh Khan, but he saw his life for what it was and LIVED it. He didn't wonder when he's gonna be paid the money for which he toiled for the last 5 minutes, he just soaked in all that was around him. You might not think he has no ambition, but how can that be judged in just a brief meeting? But the point is, he lives in the moment, or atleast tries his best to focus only on what's in front of him, not what lies in the future or what's embedded in the past. And THAT, JUST THAT is a quality worth respecting.

GO GET IT !!!

2010-03-19T13:06:00.001-07:00

I've kinda been laying off the posts for a while. Its just that there are so many things going on in life. Every aspect needs attention. And i kinda have become more active recently, the laziness has taken a back seat. (finally :p) Action is the most proactive form of thinking. This is what i've heard from a wise friend of mine. And he's cent percent right. Now there are 2 directions i can take this topic further from here. First is the full-blown psycho-analysis that i subject everything i see, hear and feel to this. Its a very common occurrence. Second, i can do something different. Which is what im attempting to do today.

A clear sky filled with stars which light it up. We humans are in awe of it. We are really not in awe of the sight. Its the possibilities that inspire and wonder us. Its the unknown lying on these stars that trigger our reactions. Cause there's always that goal, that burning, killing desire to achieve something. That's what each person sees when he/she sees the stars. They say the hard and brittle journey of life makes you numb, makes you practical. I'd say being practical is all about ego. Cause we know what we want to achieve and we know how we can achieve it. Its all just inside us. But we gotta go for it. A commonly used expression is "Go grab it by the balls and get it" (sorry for the profanity). Cause time wont stop for you to think about getting it. You gotta go out there and make it happen man.

You want a girl, go and find one for yourself.
You want money, go out there and work your ass off or work really smart.
You want a degree from a top class university, study study study.
You want to travel the world, go and get the resources to.
You want to be a pilot, go talk to a million pilots and find out what's needed.

Sometimes life just is really that simple. Its not about being practical to do things. The human ego does not recognize practicality, it recognizes spirit, perseverance and simple never-ceasing desire. That's what you gotta have. That killer instinct to make your dreams reality. Use that as fuel to do things. you'll find your way. There is no right path or wrong path here. Motivation beats all.

Im generally highly inspired when i write. That inspiration tends to wane once i finish writing. Now im gonna attempt to be inspired even after i write. Cause i know what i need exists as a reality, for now only in my mind. But i gotta turn it to my advantage and do stuff to go and get it.

BE PRACTICAL

2010-03-09T12:33:00.000-08:00

A little child watching TV wants to meet Batman. The teenage girl in love with the cutest Backstreet boy wants him to be her "special one". The undying romantic follows his unrequited love to places that kill his spirit and ruin his life. The old man expects his grandchildren to grow up just like he grew up. A dictator ruling the whole world. A terrorist believes killing people can actually save other people. Saving the Earth's natural habitat. A blind girl wanting to see. India giving up Kashmir to Pakistan. Angelina Jolie dumping Brad Pitt for Laloo Prasad Yadav. A 54-year old man wanting to be the next Kurt Cobain. An F1 driver going at 280 kmph in the Bandra-Worli sea link. Man being to be able to travel to distant galaxies.

All the above are examples of stupidity, impracticality, irrationality. Why? Cause they're not feasible? Think again. Some of them have and can actually happen. In fact, i'll go out on a limb and say, that all of them can happen. Its the realm of possibility that makes a difference. To the untrained and unconscious mind, impossibility is impossible. But to the trained and conscious one, it is a very high probability. Dreams are always going to exist, be fulfilled and be shattered. They are part of what make us who we are. But what differentiates people from each other is the emotional attachment that the have towards their dreams. To some, they are just kiddish nonsense. To some, they are a possibility, which they indulge in when their unconscious mind rules them. And to some, they are a reality, they are all around them, they can see them. Its all about belief. A badly used word for belief sometimes is obsession. Are the two interchangeable? Is there a fine line between them?

Hmm. This is a difficult one. Cause a belief can be termed as an obsession and vice-versa. But the general difference is this. A belief is not necessarily bad for you, while an obsession in most cases definitely is. Its unhealthy. Because what you are doing is trying to control what you cannot control. Or trying to control what you can control by using unethical means, i.e. imposing on someone else's FREE WILL. A great line from the movie Bruce Almighty is, "Free will cannot be controlled, not even by God". Its a highly intelligent statement. It posits 2 things, that

If you don't destroy yourself, even God cannot.
If you don't help yourself, even God cannot.

What is evident here is that, you can play a spoilsport in God's plans, in destiny, in what people mistakenly call as fate. Now that is a humongous power. Its the reason why people with principles are the pillars of mankind. But this line into obsession is very thin. Obsession is a result of grief. Of not coming to terms with grief. Ironically, our society shows lots of sympathy towards the grieving, but when they are obsessed, society turns against them. Why so? People who are emotionally attached to things have a hard time accepting their loss and they should be helped out, not rejected and ostracized as fanatics. This is where the "BE PRACTICAL" culture fails. It sucks at this point. They say that emotions are a human's hallmark. But does being practical mean that injustice is done upon the hallmark? Its not really a great metaphor. But what im trying to say is that we dont predict grief, we dont take it for granted. But the getting over part is taken for granted. Society assumes you will get over. Why? Because society assumes that you are selfish and will work only for your benefit. That is a huge misconception. Cause certain people are just crazy enough to devote their time and life to certain things more than their "selfishness". Its funny how it works out. And ironically, these qualities of devoting and giving yourself to something are what society conventionally talks about.

"Devote your life to one woman. Devote your career to one field. Devote yourself to one God. But, but, but, never get to attached to them, cause then we'll come down on you and rip you apart. Cause you have to BE PRACTICAL and move away, give no respect to your emotional attachment."

Talk about major bullcrap. This is at the top of the list for me. Call me egoistic, but i was brought up to respect certain things. And respect for yourself and your spirit is the biggest thing here. The whole BE PRACTICAL culture has its merits, definitely. But sometimes, we just term randomn things as being practical. Only if it makes sense in the conscious realm of possibility do we do things. When the unconscious mind picks up on things, it just shut up and BE PRACTICAL.

GANG WARS

2010-03-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

They say that a lot of things are better in your head, not in front of you. Cause if they're right there, you wont notice their novelty, you'll notice what they don't have, you'll notice their flaws. Cause you're built that way. You have absolutely no appreciation for their value, you will want and dream to want better than them. Sigh, human nature. Purposefully, LIFE devised a way for humans to vent and remove all the frustration - Relationships. Very little about the people you have around you talks about competition, arrogance, killer instinct and the predator instinct. Cause its not the base or foundation of your relationship, unlike work. A boss only talks to his employee because he can do a certain job with proficiency. He talks only because his employee is useful to him. Cause he can make money from his work. While a friend, relative or a loved one will generally talk cause he wants to talk to the person in question. Its simple science. The pack hangs together and looks out for each other. Of course one pack will rarely compromise with the other. And thus the resulting "Gang Wars". The wars constitute every little action which we do in the modern society.

When we go to work, we give in to the monetary desires of the autowallahs and taxiwallahs.

When we decide to have a party, we have to take into account how it affects other people in terms of noise and frustration.

When we buy food, we argue with vendor about the edibility of the vegetable.

When we fight and beat up someone, we accept punishment for it. We give in to the LAW.

When we lose someone, we fight with God.

When we get rejected or turned down, we argue with our emotions.

When we have kids, we limit certain parts of ourselves to do only certain kind of things. Its a war.

When we become politicians, we fight the public. They just dont realize it that often.

When we become rich, we fight with the egos of others.

When we give up, we fight with our conscience.

When we die, we fight to go to heaven or hell.

When others die, we fight over their property, money and heritage.

When we decide to be cheerful and enthusiastic all day, we fight against a million pessimists.

When we make a decision, we fight against lots of people that we aspire to be.

When we kiss someone, we fight to make time stop.

When we go by instinct, we fight against the practicality which are expected to obey.

When we sleep, we wrestle with our dreams. We try to make the unreal real.

This brings me to an important point. That at any given moment of our lives, we are in conflict with the UNIVERSE. We fight to earn the right to fight even more. We persevere to persevere some more. When is it said that a person is defeated?? When he/she has nothing left to fight for, or to fight against.

Recently, even I have been drawn into a fight, its more of a rat-race. Percentiles, acads, resumes and job profiles are the order of the day. Survival of the fittest. Atleast on paper. Its just a sophisticated form of brawling like prehistoric cavemen. This rat-race is a highly interesting one cause you never know who wins :) :) All you know is NEXT, MOVE ON , WIN THE NEXT ONE. Right till we die, this is the philosophy. We desire to rise to that pinnacle which does not exist.

I had this kiddish dream of being the "Best Person in the World". Then one day, a very wise person asked me, "the best of what?" I just replied "The best of everything". He replied "Huh. Be practical." I thought at that point that how does one become the "Best Person in the World"? Is it an honour, a prize bestowed for some achievement? Is it being very rich? Is it being highly famous? Is it being the best looking???? What is it? I tried to find the best person in the world, I never found one.

You just can't have tags as these. Cause there are too many underlying and fascinating variables that affect this. People call it destiny. I call it the unpredictability of the EARTH. Im a maths prof. I believe that finding the permutations and combinations of LIFE is the only question which has infinite answers. And one thing is essential, if you wanna ride this fascinating rollercoaster you gotta be tough, cause a hard brake'll throw you off just LIKE THAT. But, but, but. Make sure you try to enjoy the journey :)

A CANVAS OR A PRISON ?

2010-02-25T10:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life gives you weeks where the days just pass. It is not like you are passing your TIME. It just seems that TIME is passing you by. Cause most of things you do and the thoughts you have, seem uninspired. They actually may be quite insightful and perceptive, but since you've had them before, they're old news for you. Every second seems to drag, not because you're getting bored. What you're doing excites you and its fun, but it just seems bland compared to what you've done, what you've achieved. Your mind picks up on these things and you contemplate - a change of setting, a change of lifestyle, a peek into a friend's life. Your mind gives you these thoughts and avenues for change. It lives a life of its own- uncluttered, imaginative and rebellious. Yet in its form, it is melancholy, half and fake excitement. Cause you know you're supposed to do something today. A plan, an agenda, a purpose is there. And you know your mind has to fulfill these responsibilities and purposefully do its duty, thus resulting in no excitement that the 21st century wandering and waving mind is capable of experiencing.

Isn't that what we all crave? Perpetual excitement? Actually being able to LIVE every second the same way. Energized, driven and with no fear. But what happens is that sometimes the mind tends to move into a zone of loneliness and disconnect. Not for the lack of company, even compelling company at that, but for the lack of a fresher perspective, a reason to do and a change from the sustained level of excitement currently.

What really intrigues me is when the mind starts to accept this current zone of loneliness and disconnect. At what point do you, as an adventurous, potent and agile person start to accept, that, ya, THIS is MY LIFE. This is what im going to do. This is all I can achieve in my years. I can't conquer everything. I cant be the Master of All. Cause we've been taught to never give in, never underestimate ourselves and never stop being ambitious. Cause we're taught never to be content, to strive to be better and greater, to learn from others. For the honest, uncomplicated and simple mind, this is an impossible task. The honest mind views itself for what it is, that is, it is not the best. No matter how far you go, there always is that final hurdle, final mountain to be climbed, some person to beat, some desire to accomplish. This brings me to my next question.

Are human beings really bottomless pits of need? Is that our curse for being different from the animals? Is our ego the bane and boon of our existence? Cause we cant keep it simple. There are just too many on this planet for us to keep it simple. May be the cavemen could keep it simple. Just eat, hunt, make love to their woman, fight and sleep. Maybe that was a simpler TIME, a TIME where everything didn't have to be understood, it was obvious. But then, what screwed it up, what cataclysm made it into the multi-layer, intricately framed world of today? As i keep thinking about this, an answer comes to my mind. Maybe evolution is the culprit. Human beings used their intelligence to evolve. And in the process we lost most of our simplicity. We trained to be practical, use reasoning and deduce things. But do our minds really move just like our bodies do? Can we always be reasonable and use our intelligence to benefit us? In fact, is thinking really action? Aren't these two inter-linked? Cause you can think while acting and you can act while thinking. Could i even write an article about something as innate as this if i wasnt using my brain? What would i write if i allowed myself to switch my conscious brain off??

Isnt it ironic that im talking about not using my brain while im using it? Furthermore, would i realize that i should not be using my brain if i wasnt using it in the first place? How and when would i have come to this realization? And doesnt not using my brain prevent me from such other realizations?

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Hahahahahaaa

Just while writing the above 2 paragraphs, i realize that this is why writers go mad, kill themselves and are such maniacs :) Cause they want answers, and they want them ASAP. Their mind is their canvas and their prison. They carry too much baggage, mentally, and are always looking to justify disposing it. But they like the baggage, they can tangibly associate it with the materialistic world. As a layman would call it, that's what makes them think differently. They are so stuck in their minds, that they exist in many lifetimes and dimensions. That their mind takes them places where they cant go. And ironically, it is because of this preoccupation with the mind, that they rarely go to places.

Recognizing why and how a person thinks is a key to world domination. I'll repeat. Recognizing why and how a person thinks is a key to world domination.

Its just that very few writers actually use this key for their own benefit. That is what they are against. Its breaks an invisible line in their head.

Lol. Now, im sleepy. Too much psychobabble for today. Gnite.

MENTAL INERTIA

2010-02-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

Inertia - it is the force that drives us. Most people, once they reach a certain age, tend to follow a distinct path. It is distinct cause it is characterized by features of their personality. An achiever will always achieve things in his life, no matter what obstacles might come in his way. A loser may always be a loser, no matter how hard he tries. Or a daydreamer/idealist will always be one, no matter how hard life tries shapes him. Cause events that have happened in childhood and adolescence stay with us for the long haul. They are the singular most instrumental moments that shape our personalities. Our reactions to these little things might define us for the rest of our lives. Cause the human mind is like the retina of the eye. We recognise things happening around us and can produce a visual representation of it. But if we're exposed to too much light and if our minds are toyed with beyond a certain extent, we're damaged.

These life-defining moments are way too hard to recognize when u experience them. I mean, Joe Satriani decided to become a guitarist once he heard that Jimi Hendrix had died. Satriani was only 13 years old then. If someone would have told him back then that he would be one of the most famous and critically-acclaimed guitarists today, he would've laughed and scoffed. But its funny how things turned out exactly like that. Cause Satriani's mental inertia made him reach where he is today. That innate desire, nay, need to be a reknowned guitarist propelled him forwards. And thats exactly how it works in most of us. Except that most of us have a need for doing the oddest possible things.

Some of us, no matter how much we want it, can never settle to anything. We're what they call the wanderers or "responsibility-shirkers". We'll try one career after another, and just live in that infinite loop all our lives.

Some of us, just have that desire to be rich. To have so much money, and to be so busy making it, that we got no time to utilize it. That's what gives us a high. Cause we know we've XYZ lakh in the bank. And we dont wanna spend it, cause just like Gollum in the movie, "It's our precious".

Some of us, just want to be creators. We want to make something worthwhile. It might be a book, a movie, a painting or a song. It just has to be fully ours. We spend our days and nights doing this to make a mark.

Some of us, just desire to find our soul mate. We desire to find that perfect individual who acts as a counterpoint all our properties and makes us feel like "The One". We go through life, moving from one relationship to the other, to find that one person.

Some of us live on faith. We believe that we'll ride the wave of life and manage things cause we know the creator up there is watching and He's gonna make things ok, no matter what. We can survive the deadliest conditions and worst situations via this faith.

Some of us are so lacking in self-belief that even in the happiest situations, we'll look for negativity. Cause that's what's been embedded into our minds since an early age, we are people who self-destruct.

Its mental inertia which causes such things. We are so used to things happening in a certain manner, that even if they happen in some other ways, its too hard for us to deal with them. That is why there are short-lived successes and one-hit wonders. Cause the people cant really deal with such drastic changes in their life, even if the changes are for the better. I guess a lotta people dont live out their fantasies. Cause most of them want them so much, that they think about them too much. They just live them out vicariously or in their heads. That is the truth. Cause the mind can only be diverted after a certain point. It cannot be forced to return on the path it has just traversed. Thus the concept of regret and thus the concept of getting over it being highly, highly important.

Wrestling - An ART FORM

2010-02-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

"If you smellllalalalaooooh, what The Rock is cooking". "Gimme a HELL YEAH". "You can't see me". "Rest in Peaaccceeee". "You've got....No chance in hell!!!". "Hulkamania is runnin wild, brother".

The above sentences are vintage dialogues of different World Wrestling Entertainment (ya, i believe its a better name than WWF) superstars. The wrestling industry has a been a massive part of the teenage years of most of today's generation. It encompassed all that we believed in. It stood for the brash, no-nonsense, arrogant little snots that a lot of us always aspired to be. It was, and still is a kid's dream. Thus the common notion that wrestling is a thing of the past. An activity that is acceptable and tolerated when you're a little kid, cause frankly, life isn't like that. You cant break rules, whack people and raise hell all the time you want. You have to be a civilized member of the society that we have to live in. Thus the perception that once you're old enough, watching such stuff doesnt make sense. This may be seen as a perfectly viable argument. But it pays to analyze both sides of the coin.

Wrestling is an art form. Its a form of entertainment which tells a story. It is not "men fighting in tights" as people have so grossly and unjustly termed it. It is similar to other art forms like music, cinema or writing. It takes the viewer through an emotional journey. Dont tell me that even the staunchest anti-wrestling fan will not be amused by the promos given by The Rock? These promos alone sold millions of pay-per-view buys. Don't tell me even the most non-violent person alive cannot admire the athleticism and dedication of a star performer like Shawn Michaels? His series of matches over the years have set the bar for all sorts of sports entertainment. And dont tell me that when Stone Cold Steve Austin yelled "Gimme a HELL YEAH", not everyone did? That was what defined the power of wrestling. Cause it took viewers to alternate worlds, alternate states of consciousness, which is what any great art form should do. A common mistake is that the cornerstone of wrestling entertainment is physical confrontation. It is actually a compelling storyline which leads to a physical confrontation. Only if there is a reason to emotionally invest in the product will watching wrestling be popular. Wrestling connects to people in lots of ways. The average man imagines his boss as the wrestler getting his butt kicked. The little teenager imagines himself as the next daredevil like Jeff hardy to do acrobatics. The old man, battered and bruised by the mental stress and strain caused to him by LIFE, just imagines all the people who have done him wrong as people who's butt he's always wanted to kick. Wrestling gives him that satisfaction. Arent empathy and living vicariously the main reasons why music, films and novels came to into existence. Its all ENTERTAINMENT. Which is what people turn to after a stressful day.

Romantic songs, comedy films, action flicks and inspirational writing. All art forms. Another similarity among them - All fiction. Fake. Hocum. Full of Crap. Nonsense to make money. But why do we associate ourselves with and appreciate them. Cause they take us to "altered states of consicousness". Cause they make us feel things. Cause they make us realize what we CAN FEEL if we are in a certain state, not what we DO FEEL. My biggest frustration is that people say wrestling is "fake" and thus criticize it. So what? Even movies and stories are fake. Do we argue with George Lucas when he mentions "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."? No we accept that it all is fake. But are we enjoying the story? Damn yes. Hell, most times artists dont even mention that their creations are set in some other world. Then why this bigotry towards wrestling?? Why the unnecessary questioning of its reality? Why the devaluing of its companies and performers?? These double standards are glaringly evident to me.

The wrestling business is a highly profitable one. Cause wrestling promotions, wrestlers and the media work very hard to develop a product that is appealing to the target audience. The storylines have lots of sensibilities and references to current developments. Of course, a lot of them are bad, predictable stories. But yeah, even the movie biz has a majority of flops (at least bollywood :p) and most writers are copycats too. So this makes it similar, not as people view, opposite, to other art forms. The principle of using violence to solve conflict is a highly debatable one, but i think even movies and novels have highly controversial themes. Its just that some minds are open enough to accept that its entertainment, not reality and others actually try to apply the Four Noble Truths designed by Buddha to a wrestling feud. These are the actual "stupid kids". As far as the issue of wrestlers dying due to steroid and drug abuse, thats a topic for a separate post itself. But i will say this. Every profession has its pros and cons. Even a fireman can die. He too willingly puts himself in danger. Its completely his choice. Does that mean no one becomes a fireman??

I am a self-confessed massive wrestling fan. I believe it is a great way to tell a story and it should be acknowledged as one, no matter if it is appreciated or criticized. In fact wrestling does not mean WWE, there are a hundred other wrestling promotions and companies. It is highly, highly popular and is a multi-billion dollar industry. And its popularity is spread throughout the world. Right from the USA to Germany and from Australia to Japan. Speaking of Japan, i have a theory that the Japanese are the authority on the most compelling art forms. Be it games, sports, music or movies, the Japanese can tell a emotionally moving art form from a highly bland one. And guess what, wrestling is most popular not in the USA, but in Japan. I have added some links here of some wrestling fan sites, hoping some of you will check them out and see for yourself what wrestling really is.

www.prowrestling.net

www.pwtorch.com

Now in the undying wrestling words - "Thats the bottom line cause Stone Cold says so".

CONFIDENCE

2010-01-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

Most people assume that confidence is about being sure about everything you say and do. I think thats something called as self-confidence, not confidence. Confidence is relative. Hell, even Sachin Tendulkar has confidence issues. Its just that in comparision to someone else, you may just totally suck. That's why i believe it is a little daunting to put your best to everything that you do. Cause the fear is there. The deep-seated feeling of insecurity that no matter what you do, how well you prepare, how much desire and passion you show towards it, somethings just may not work out the way you want them to. Its baffling why this happens. Cause all our life we've been taught that the human spirit can overcome anything, that it is big and all-encompassing, that challenges are nothing but minute, little obstacles for THE HUMAN. Cause the HUMAN exceeds all living creatures, it is the supreme being on this planet. But tell me something. Can an ant kill an elephant? Is it possible? IS the HUMAN mind open to such a illogical question? According to most theories of thought, yes, the ant can kill the elephant. But thats theory. Put it into practice and then you'll find out. Im a teacher. I know kids are given false HOPE AND DREAMS everyday. They are told that they can be whatever they want to. But ive observed closely. And some of them, some of them just can't crack the CAT/CET or whatever they want to. Its not because they dont work hard. Cause i see them putting their days and nights into it. They work like absolute machines. But then why are they not given the respect that they deserve? And ya, ill admit it. A lotta them do work harder than me. Then why the bigotry, the second-handed treatment and the pressure from their peers and parents? Just because they're not inherently talented like some maniacs. Appreciation in this world is highly biased. Only to the good and brave and successful do the plaudits go. The others can eat dust.

This is the problem with a capitalist society. Survival of the fittest. The bad things in life are never praised, cause we want to be impressed, we want that gratification that all that we're associated with is freaking awesome. But its not. Most of the things around us are ordinary. The people we know are ordinary. The place where we stay is ordinary and the life that we live is ordinary. Its all about perspective and here lies that inherent quality of confidence. Don't tell me that you've never seen a Sachin Tendulkar, a Shahrukh Khan or an Angelinda Jolie and said that "I DONT WANT HIS/HER LIFE". If you can say that with 100% percent clarity and honesty, then you're a freaking king. But most of us are just bull-shitting oursleves. We'll tell others something else but know that the truth is different. Cause we know if we admit it, we'll be called "wannabees", "numbskulls" or some other sarcastic insult. Most people know their level and very few can raise it to another one. That's not the sad part. The sad part is that those who cant, but work like dogs to do it are never given any credit. that's what pisses me off. The common labourer, the house-maid, the building watchman, the havaldar, the clerk/peon in an office, the garbage collection man. These guys may work like crazy, but no, they are viewed as the lowest level that you can sink to. Imagine what sorta confidence they have. And on top of that if they'd hear some stupid psycho-babble about achieving anything you want in your life, they'd feel like shit.

There are losers everywhere. Its just that some people call them that, and others GET TO KNOW THEM. They get used to it. Used to thinking that they're the lowest rung of the ladder. That no matter what they do, they'll suck at it. But so what?? Even if they suck at it, atleast they're trying. They're living their life, putting their all, experiencing stuff. Just cause they weren't born with wonderful parents, money, intelligence, does it make them any lesser than us. Even segregation based on intelligence is DISCRIMINATION. Its just that that segregation is not viewed in the same light as a lets say, racial division or division based on caste. You might argue here that people cannot change their caste or race, but get real, lotta ppl cant even change their level of intelligence. Its just the media and big, fancy corporates who drill people that intelligence can be achieved via hard work and dedication. These people are the real LOSERS because they judge you by your CV, your academic record, how much money you make or which college you're from. What criterions are those? Even the dumbest, stupidest fellow on this planet can get into a brilliant college because his father has money. Does that mean that all the autowallahs and taxiwallahs in Mumbai are lower than him? Who really determines such stuff and why? Ill tell you. Its the people who are successful who do this. The people who are at the top of their game are the ones who come up with methods, designs, IQ tests and graphs to rate HUMANS. The word confidence does not exist. Ill tell you what. A person can only truly be confident when he knows that he is better than EVERYONE ELSE at EVERYTHING. Everything else is self-confidence or just playing up to your good qualities. Its not bad, cause to survive in life you have to only talk about the good stuff about yourself. Otherwise, you're mincemeat.

This is not a pessimistic post, but just a brutally honest one. If you really want to be confident I believe that no matter how many times you fail, you should not accept it. Cause for a confident person, there is no failure. Everything is feedback. Everything is knowledge on how to improve himself. As long as he has that desire and fire to improve, he/she should be respected, no matter if he is the King of Brunei or Ramu the milkman.

Jai Hind. (Our wonderful country has not yet descended completely into barbaric capitalism, so lets rejoice that for a brief, fleeting moment)

EMOTIONAL ATYAACHAAR

2010-01-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Man, am i sleepy right now. Then why am I writing? Why spend time meticulously writing and expressing when i could be sleeping like a log after a hard day's night? :p (for all u Beatles fans out there). Cause I believe that what I want to say is important. It might be the most insignificant thing on this planet, but since its mine, its important to me. Joy, Love, Pride. These are the things that one lives for, the things that separate us from the other animals out there. What is fascinating though, is that these emotions are of no use if they're felt constantly. Only by achieving, experiencing or analyzing a certain situation, can these emotions be truly felt. I experienced so many emotions in the past week. Mind-numbing happiness, gut-wrenching despair, self-induced lethargy, woman-induced anger and work-induced stress. It felt like an overkill of emotions. Why did i feel so? Cause they all happened so quickly, so fast, i didn't have time to savor them, even the bad ones. Maybe this is what makes the Modern Man numb, not a lack of emotions, but a multitude of fast-approaching and fast-departing emotions. It happens to such an extent that He might become apathetic towards it. That's where the real trouble lies. If He's not able to appreciate the beauty of a simple sunset (not the one at Sunset point in Mahabaleshwar, a normal one), if he's not able to feel pity for a beggar with both his hands cut off, if he's not able to enjoy a romantic walk in the rain, if he is not able to recognize the beauty of Test Match Cricket (yes, i said TEST MATCH :p), if he is not able to feel that excited feeling in the pit of his stomach when he goes to talk to a pretty girl and if he cant recognize the value that his parents have brought to him, then what's the point?? Why live if some of these basic emotions and feelings are negated? Why earn money? Why work hard? Why exist on this planet?

In this age of instant gratification, no emotion is ever experienced completely. You're surprised one minute, appalled the next and frustrated the next. When external sources can control your emotions to such an extent that you cant savor these things, then you actually start to wonder if you're a man or a machine. I think this is what kills most people. No, i dont mean kills in the physical sense. I mean, it kills their spirit, their innate ability to emote and their child-like enthusiasm for life. It grows to such an extent that even having fun becomes a task, or work or a mindless process. Contact people, set up the details, pass on relevant information, clear up schedules to "MAKE TIME" for fun. That's not FUN, its a burdened, heavy and feeble representation of FUN. Its like playing Need for Speed instead of driving a sports car, like checking out pictures of the Niagara Falls instead of actually going there or using Facebook to be connected to people instead of actually meeting them in the flesh. When time is less, and emotions are low on the priority list, this is what happens. Man becomes sucked into that hole of selfishness from which there is no escape, until one day he realizes that true happiness is a state of mind, not a "thing" or "ambition" that can be achieved.

Happiness is a multi-varied, multi-dimensioned thing. People claim to experience it a lot, to describe it, to give pointers to "achieve" it. But you cannot direct towards or describe happiness to a person. It has different meanings for different people. A person may be happy if he has money, he may be happy if he has women, he may be happy if he lives in the mountains, he may be happy if he is always alone or he may be happy if he is sleeping. This is what gets me thinking about the paradox in emotions. If you don't experience them, you're not living. And if you experience them too much, then also you're not living.

Though ive touched the concept of too much emotion, im coming back to it. Its hard to define and predict when, where and how you will experience emotion. That's its beauty. Even in the most unimaginable situations, your feelings and emotions could always surprise you. Also another logic can be that each person has a different emotional range, thus the concept of "too much emotion" is a relative one. The term "emotional atyaachaar" has become famous via a recent bollywood movie. But what exactly is this "emotional atyaachaar" ? Too many feelings clouding your head at one point, you feeling bad about lots of things or you unable to feel any emotion at all? All the above are inter-linked, and herein lies the main dilemma. The human body cannot be studied like a machine, theories about the heart can never be proved true and man's brain can never be fully explained. All these questions, but no answers. Seems like science has failed us and progression of technology is actually making things tougher than what they are, at least to the heart and mind. Cause the heart and mind do not understand science and technology, cause science and technology is just a feeble, inaccurate representation of how this amazing, amazing world works.

I think this post has now caused a certain chaos of feelings in me. When that happens, the best you can do is just relax and go to sleep. I thinks its my cue to do just that. Good night.

THEORIES OF ATTRACTION

2010-01-09T06:32:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day that I really missed her. As a guy, you dont "miss" that often. You kinda realize that it is on your mind, but maybe being the testosterone-charged man, you try to push it out of your mind, you think its a little girlish. But that's not how it works. You gotta deal with it, cause all those feelings come out in ways more intense and drastic than just calling her up and bringing up her name in most conversations. Hell, men go into depression and kill themselves cause of such stuff. Its the male ego, of wanting things really bad, of not giving up, of not accepting life's situations. Its the same reason why more men go to IIT's, IIM's and the world's top colleges. You see, ever since he is a little boy, the Man's aim has always been to excel, to be at the top of the food chain, to want everything so badly that it drives Him to do crazy things. Its deep ingrained passion. In fact, contrary to popular belief, I think that IITian's are some of the most passionate people. They dedicate years of their lives to something, and do it in the best possible manner. You might say that some of them do it all for the money, but even that's passion, and there's absolutely nothing wrong in wanting money. Most of us do, we just dont say it that loudly.

I think men are more passionate then women. They just have weird ways of showing it, or dont know how to show it. Somehow, women believe that unless you show emotion, you're a heartless dull dweeb. There's an old saying, "Actions speak louder than words". If you think of all the crazy things that people in love do, then men are much, much crazier. Shah Jahan built the Taj Mahal for Mumtaz. Paris bedded Helen of Sparta and was the direct cause for the destruction of Troy, his motherland. Edward VIII abdicated the throne of England to marry Wallis Simpson. Prince Charles got married to his lifelong lover till at the age of 60, irrespective of what the whole of England and his sons thought. Yes, women have that magical ability to get men to do anything THEY WANT. But a woman will never, and i mean never ever, love a man who can't get WHAT HE WANTS. It's animal instinct that governs such stuff. Women are not consciously aware of it, but that's what it is. Even science says that hormone secretion increases in extremely passionate situations.

Coming back to the woman that I missed today. What I missed about her was the arrogance, the natural tendency to gainsay all that I tried to do. The technical term is "mismatcher" or "polarity responder". You cannot and should not be nice to such women. Not cause they'll make u a "nice guy", but because they dont like it themselves, and face it, being mean is just much easier then being nice :p. Then, why did I miss the condescending attitude? Cause i like challenges. Every man does. The difference is that, some men actually commit themselves to overcome these challenges. While the others sit around thinking its not their cup of tea - without even trying. Okay, guys and girls, Im gonna let you in on a massive secret. Its a common pattern in every single woman. Here goes.

"A universal truth is that every woman is attracted to a man with PERSONAL AUTHORITY. It does not matter if the man has money, if he has looks, if he is a charmer or if he is an achiever. Self-authority is the ability to get your heart's innermost desire. Right from wanting to gift her something great for her birthday to actually getting into the Harvard Business School, a man with personal authority will always be loved passionately by all kinds of women."

I request every woman reading this post to look inside your heart to find that one person who you're attracted to irresistibly and connect it to this post. If you think about that person's qualities and think deeply, you'll find structure and patterns in how you feel a certain way.

For all the men reading this post, I'd like to say that any of you, and i mean any of you, can be with any girl you desire cause the bottom line is that animal instinct governs such stuff. And if you're "just one ordinary man", she's "just one ordinary woman too".

THE CLOCK

2010-01-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

The clock is a sign of strength, a sign of power. Big businessmen with big meetings, and big pay packages live their life in accordance to a clock. Their day is based around their schedule.

The clock is a sign of boredom, with students's eyes transfixed on them everyday, waiting for the time to pass quicker, so that they can be done with lectures and enjoy the remainder of the day.

The clock is a symbol of opportunity, it carries each person's hopes and dreams. To utilize the time remaining ahead in their lives to LIVE, not just exist.

The clock is a symbol of hope and desperation. It indicates survival. A boxer in trouble wishes to be saved by the bell. An F1 driver wishes his rival is slower by a microsecond, so that he can qualify for the next knockout round. The minnows of test cricket, waiting the end of the 5th day to save them defeat in a test match

The clock is a sign of change. The hands move constantly, as life does. And no matter how much you resist it, it will move, and you're dragged along. Accept it, get used to it, make sure you are prepared for it; as herein lies the inherent beauty of life.

The clock is a paradox. It tells you to move forward, but also to enjoy every moment that you get. Cause later when you'll look back, you'll be happy.

The clock is a sign of repetition. For a salesman, it shows the circular nature of his life. Home-sales calls-home-sales calls-home. For a translator, it depicts the monotony of his life, where his job has absolutely no variation. For Superhero, it shows the rest of his life. Save people-save people-save people.

The clock is a ticking timebomb. For people in their later years, its a sign that Death will come for them sooner or later. For a suicide bomber, it is about being a martyr after the stipulated time has elapsed. For Ajmal Amir Kasab, it is a sign of when that inevitable noose will tighten around his neck.

The clock is a reminder. Teenage girls lost in dreams about their soulmates stop when they look at the clock and remember to do their homework. Hardcore gamers look at the clock and realize that they should probably venture into the outside world for human contact.

The clock is a pointless idea. Robots will say, why measure time?? Why waste so much equipment and resources to measure something you dont need to, cause you will live forever. (as long as someone keeps your battery charged :p)

The clock is a sign of money. For the CFO's of Rado, Tag Huer, and Titan millions of dollars every year are generated just by watch sales.

The clock is a sign of longing and desire. For a little child pickpocket in the first class compartment of the Churchgate local, dandy businessmen's wrists are objects of fascination.

The clock is the symbol of the Nationalist Congress Party.

The clock is a symbol of China. The first timing devices were made their, ie. the sundial, metal clock etc. China has come out with the most varied and innovative clocks over the centuries.

The clock is a sign of numbers and maths, which play such an important role in the progress of mankind.

EVOLUTION OF ROCK

2009-12-24T11:17:00.000-08:00

The following is supposed to be my take on how Rock and Roll has progressed over the years. (With a little help from Wikipedia :p :p) Let’s hope it is as successful as some of Darwin’s theories about evolution 

PART 1

A lot of people wonder why a lot of other people love music which a lot of firang people have composed over the past 4o years. It’s no surprise that at a first listen most people cannot comprehend the lyrics of a rock song; let alone comprehend what it stands for. That is at the stage when you think that its just noise, with a bunch of long-haired maniacs trying to get themselves a neck brace. They had a famous saying in the 70’s, that Rock n Roll isn’t just music; it’s a way of life. And how true they were, that now, even 40 years later, every teenager is affected by it – in his/her own manner.

The roots of rock can be recognized in one word: Rebellion. It was never made to be pleasing to the ear, like techno, never made to make girls swoon, like pop and never made to earn a whole lotta moolah like hip-hop; it was made to be identified with, to make a connection with the uncivilized part of each man and woman. It spoke of breaking the rules, not just to be cool, as many people think; but to recognize the fact that no one can govern a person’s life, he can do whatever he wants. It asked a simple question, why so many rules and restrictions? Why the need for society to impose its thoughts on people who wanted to be free? Darn right, it was as anti-social as one could get, but contrary to what a lot of people think now, it did and still does make perfect sense. The first rockers were caged souls, literally. They were black slaves who started playing such songs as a form of rebellion against the white man. The expression “Rock and Roll” has its origins here. The term “rocking” was used by black gospel singers to indicate spiritual rapture, while “roll” – literally meant “sex”. The earliest form of “rock and roll” was inspired from pre-existent genres like jazz, rhythm and blues and beat music. It emphasized more on the backbeat of the song, with a quicker guitar riff and wailing vocals. A highly sonorous piano was also used here. Little Richard was one of the first artists to combine these elements in his mid-fifties works.

This innovation of this new sound cascaded into the late 50’s and culminated to the rise to the most popular rocker the world has ever known, Elvis Presely. Such was his voice, style and charisma; he alone propelled rock n roll into the limelight. John Lennon once said,” If there wasn’t an Elvis, there’d never be The Beatles”. Till Elvis, rock and roll was more of an anonymous movement; it never really captured the attention of the masses, kinda like what today’s underground movements are like. But with hits such as “Jailhouse Rock”, “Heartbreak Hotel”, “Blue Suede Shoes”, “Hound Dog” and many more, the public was captivated. His live performances were known to be legendary, for his amazing stage presence, charming good looks and of course, his infamous body gyrations. Elvis had a huge cultural impact. Of course, he did have some detractors as well, with some of his peers such as Frank Sinatra proclaiming that he had mainly recycled the black man’s music; but all it did was enhance Presley’s persona and gave him even more mainstream attention. And even today, we can comfortably say that “Elvis hasn’t left the building”, as he inspires generation after generation.

Elvis did inspire The Beatles, but theirs is a more traditional rise. In the late 50’s, the rock and roll movement was strong in Britain, with a lot of upcoming bands. The Quarrymen, as they were initially known, played in clubs in Hamburg for a few years, until the popularity of the hit single “Love Me Do”. They bagged a record deal and became The Beatles, creating some of the most impactful and historically significant albums ever; such as Please Please Me (1963), With the Beatles (1963) and A Hard Day’s Night (1964). In 1963, they crossed over into the American market and created what is known in popular culture as “Beatlemania”. Just like Elvis, the unexpected popularity and wealth didn’t suit the Beatles, and thus their forays into frequent drug usage, and alcoholic revelry. This was very much evident in their music, which evolved into psychedelic rock. Here, instrumentals were common, while songs with lyrics were sometimes conceptual, abstract, or based in fantasy and science fiction. Their studio mates, Pink Floyd were, at the same time creating The Piper At the Gates of Dawn (1967) – a psychedelic masterpiece. This album was the vision of Syd Barrett, unfortunately known more for his personal demons rather than his ground-breaking music. This however, was just the beginning of Pink Floyd, as they pushed the boundaries of psychedelic music, venturing into progressive rock and occasionally dabbing in other genres for weird and different sounds. Some of these examples are evident in “Echoes” – a 17 minute epic. A few years earlier, The Beatles had just released Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967) – their most recognizable and influential album ever. Due to internal struggles soon, and the departure of John Lennon, The Beatles soon broke-up. Pink Floyd, however, had better luck. The release of The Dark Side of The Moon (1973) catapulted them to international stardom and their legacy in rock and roll history was assured. With albums like Wish You Were Here (1975), Animals (1977) and The Wall (1979), they achieved cult status.

------This is just PART 1……please stay tuned for PART 2….it’ll be uploaded the moment I finish writing it :p :p

Thumbs Up to PROMETRIC

2009-12-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

Before you read the title and conclude that just because my CAT went glitch free, I'm pro-Prometric. That's not the case. My PC malfunctioned in the middle of my exam. But, why am I still complementing these buffoons called Prometric? Read on.

Computer Based Tests or CBT's are the future. If banks use online systems instead of logs, if the share market uses a centrally connected server for all transactions, and if we use iPOD's and mp3 players instead of gramophones, then why not CBT's? All the proceses in the world are going tech, so why should exams be left behind? The CAT is probably the most competitive test in the world, in terms of statistics - 2.4 lakh appeared this year and only around 1800 will finally get into the IIM's. The conversion ratio is higher even for top-notch B-schools like Harvard and Wharton. Thus it is imperative that it be technology-based, as this saves a huge number of resources such as paper and manual labour. CBT's are highly streamlined and they are ideally computer-adaptive, such as the GRE or GMAT. From experience, i can tell you that the GRE will give you an accurate analysis of your abilities. However, this year's CAT paper was not adaptive, thus the varying levels of difficulty in 20 papers over 10 days.

The hooplah over awarding the contract for CAT to Prometric has been massive only now, once technical glitches were noticed. Prometric has a great track record with the GRE, TOEFL, UBS, American Medical License exam etc., so no one complained when they were given the contract in the first place. But, conducting a Computer-Based exam in India is highly difficult - with the technology issues and high number of students appearing. I believe that Prometric has done a great job, with a highly simple and user-friendly interface, which allows the non-English speakers to understand the process with ease. The technical support staff at most centres have been very helpful, and tried their best to eliminate glitches. (to verify this, please check www.pagalguy.com, extensive analysis is done) The re-scheduling process has also been smooth for most people (the media only focuses on the few bad cases), and even the security checks have been very well-conducted at most places.

My personal testing experience was awesome. I entered the test centre hassle-free, with no long lines as has been predicted. The security was strict, but not to the point of frustrating the test-takers. The co-ordinators were helpful, organized and definitely knew what they were doing. The biometrics were much quicker as compared to the GRE, and the PC's were in good condition and functioning well. My only complaint lies with the IIM's, not Prometric. This is because the IIM's decide the format, difficulty level and overall percentile scoring bases for the paper. The IIM's chose to go with such easy papers, the IIM's chose to not take a test run before the actual CAT (btw Prometric does test runs everywhere), the IIM's decided not to disclose the scoring pattern, and the IIM's decided to keep only a short 10-day window. Thus most of the blame lies on their shoulders. But the actual testing experience was really commendable and well-planed for a massive number such as 2.4 lakh over 10 days.

The chief trouble-maker in the whole process is the media, with its exaggerations and extreme statistics. India TV, Aaj Tak, Star News, even NDTV were turning the CAT process into a massive sob-story. This is the root of most problems with Indian media today. Almost all of them mis-inform the viewer for that extra high TRP rating, thus turning news too into an extension of the sappy, emotional dramas that are the staple diet of most Indian audiences today (yes, even men watch these serials with an intense regularity :o ). Infact, even today's youngsters watch such stuff more frequently than they will want to admit. Its a pity that Indian Tv hasn't evolved over the years from serials and reality contests.

Coming back to the CAT debate, I sincerely believe that Prometric was the right choice to conduct the IIM CAT 09 and i hope that once the initial-teething in problems are settled this year, next year's CAT will be a breeze for all parties involved....though I do hope, I dont have to give it, cause my CAT this year was awesome :) :) (I guess im just being optimistic here :p )

2009-11-28T04:02:00.000-08:00

ENGINEERING LIFE

I go to college to see the sights and sounds,

To escape the monotony and visit the Bhavan’s grounds,

To eat at Shetty’s, Vrindavan and Parking Lot,

To go to the Xerox shop everyday with a new lot,

To waste most of my day in lectures one after one,

To try and bear profs who’ll leave us only when its done.

To do practical’s about which we don’t care diligently,

To wait for the prof to leave and laugh cynically,

To cry and cry for the lab assistant to come and assist us,

To suck up to some prof in the viva who makes a huge fuss,

To increase our GK as about who ate up how much money,

To talk and talk about things that are hilariously funny.

To understand if something’s being said with a pervert mind,

To abuse the office staff who are a pain and unkind.

To copy assignments and journals which are our toughest tests,

To bunk college lectures to do work for various unsuccessful fests,

To catch the latest flicks after 5 pm on Tuesdays,

To gossip about profs whose salaries a student pays,

To go to FTA pracs to play Warcraft and CS,

To get placed in companies from CISCO to Zeus,

To do assignments and journals on the last bench,

To go to the toilet when its got an inglorious stench,

To beg an autowallah to take us to Bhavan’s

To say “FU” when he listen’s to a hot girl’s summons,

To give friends the best view of our paper in exams,

To see the prof smile and turn away with no qualms,

To get a good job so that people get off our back,

To finish 4 years of hell so that we get our life back on track.

DISCLAIMER : The views given here are not pertaining to any one individual and just represent a stereotypical view of a general engg student....its not meant to offend anybody and is completely fictional in nature :) :) :)

Origins of Motivation

2009-11-04T10:15:00.000-08:00

I have always wondered what is it that motivates a person to excel, to be the best and consider himself an "achiever". Its a fundamental question. Did the first man on earth just "know" that he had to work hard, just using primal instinct or did he realize after a certain duration of time that he had to become intelligent if he didnt want to get eaten up by bigger predators? And if he did realize it, then how did he go about the process? Cause the first man had no pointers, no teachers, mentors or examples to look up and imbibe from, he'd only observe other animals. And even if he did evolve over the years, how did he do it? Maybe the answer lies in Darwin's theories which i haven't read, but its still worth pondering over.

It has always been acceptable to be funny, to be introverted, to be unique....then why has it never been acceptable to be stupid, blunt or demotivated. I mean, an IIM selects only a brilliant/motivated person. Ppl may answer that only such people can make a difference to the world, but i disagree. At the end of the day, when a man dies, doesnt matter which man, its a great equalizer. Each one is laid to rest in the same way, each one's body decays, each one is forgotten and ppl move on with their lives.....then why such bigotry as to only those who are smart/intelligent are the best people in life?

As I pondered upon this question, i realized that survival is the name of the game. Each person has to be intelligent/motivated/successful for them to live, to be valued, to stay luxuriously, to be remembered for his contribution to society and to be honoured when he dies. But let me counter this with a fundamental question, if you knew you were always going to survive well, always be remembered and be honoured on your deathbed , would you do even half the things that you would do? I think a very small percentage of people would do what they do if the had such a security. Us engineers have a saying, "We only work when our butts are on fire, or in the process of being set on fire." For most of the human society, when they work, are their butts on fire all the time? Let me give you an example, if you could be Bill Gates's son/daughter today, would you remain the same person? If you can, then its nothing short of a miracle.

In Ayn Rand's book, "The Fountainhead", she says that man's ego is the gateway to all kinds of progress. But where has that ego been built up from - from dominating all the other living species for thousands of years, from building massive civilizations, from putting a man on the moon, from developing technology which can destroy countries in a microsecond and so on and so forth. Man has done a lot. The need to replicate that or go one step further is what every human is looking for or desires. It is the same reason why an IIM will reject a hard-working all-life cobbler for the newest IIT graduate who knows nothing about making his/her daily bread. Im not saying its wrong, cause the cobbler would probably not be the best student in the IIM, im just saying that capitalism has penetrated into every pore of the human mind and its essential that people retain their individuality before falling into the arena where these rat-races take place for eternity.

Changing

2009-10-31T03:56:00.000-07:00

As I was teaching my students, I realized how much i've changed over the past few months. Working, studying and managing personal stuff at the same time. I tried to recall the last time that I felt like I had changed this much in a short duration. Only in my second year did I really change. Its been pretty much stagnant or a pretty similar version of mine since then. This led me to believe in the concept of change cycles. A new environment, a new experience and the need for adaptability can cause change. Its probably one of the most uncertain phases of a person's life - the state of being in the process of change. Your life's actions dont have a fixed direction, or a sense of purpose. Its not a road, but a series of steep turns which determine your final destination. If you have that direction and road demarcated then its all good. But if you're like me - wanting to do everything you can, not missing out on any of life's experiences, then its scary. All you can do IS move forward, be exhilarated by the good stuff and sack UP and take the bad stuff in your stride. Overthinking, or examining the consequences of each and every little action and decision is fatal. Cause you have no way of determining what lies beyond those steep turns. Also not looking back helps. What is done, is done. The concept of a tautological redundancy in most arguments might be there - that if you dont do it, you never will know it, SO THAT'S THE ATTITUDE U GOTTA TAKE.

A lotta people have got a general plan in mind of what they wanna do in their life. For some its earning a massive pile of money, for others its being the best they can be in their field of choice, for some others its also building and maintaining relationships with people...basically emotional satisfaction...and for some its a desire to leave a mark or an imprint on their generation. But all these goals, ambitions are not quantifiable, not measureable...achieving them is the journey, thats the pursuit. And unlike the movie, its not a pursuit for happiness, its a pursuit for identity, a place in the world and a sense of purpose.

Coming back to the point of change cycles, i really believe that there are 2 ways to interpreting, predetrmining or accepting them. Firstly, if you understand that you're changing, you can lead it into a certain direction, direct your focus and energies to change into the person you DESIRE TO BE. Secondly, if you dont recognize the change then you can just go with the flow and one day realize that ur a totally new person. Now you just gotta accept that. This is what happens with most people. Im not saying its bad or wrong, cause going where the wind blows you is a BIG EXPERIENCE in life. The third one is predicting the change cycle....knowing that it'll occur. This is bound to happen only if you've experienced the change cycle before and know the pointers which lead down the road of change.

Lastly, i'd also like to try and quantify the difference between evolution and change. The best i could come up with was that a series of change cycles lead to evolution....the betterment of all characteristics of a person...the tools to survive and make the most out of the wild (metaphorically speaking).....an improvement on previous versions of the same individual....a VERSION 2.0 if you will.

As such their wasnt a specific reason for this post...just a way of venting stuff out....lol...forming crazy theories in my head.

STUMPED

2009-10-27T02:47:00.001-07:00

Cricket’s a word that no one’s happy to hear,
Nowadays the supporters only curse and jeer,
It doesn’t matter if it’s Australia or Zimbabwe,
The Men in Blue just keep on losing day after day.

Vision 2007, the Board had proudly proclaimed,
We’ll bring home the Cup, all our rivals outplayed,
But in this reverie, one thing Mr. Pawar easily forgot,
He’s hired a man, who of coaching knows naught.

Respected Sir Dear Mr. Greg Chappell,
Two years back, we’d actually listened to his babble,
But now we realize, he’s not much of a thinker,
After all, this is a guy who showed us the middle finger.

Why was captain Dada sacked, most could not understand,
Just when taking off your shirts was becoming a fad,
The damage this caused was too hard to curtail,
Chappell again committed a blunder, an explosive e-mail.

Apart from Dear Old Greg, players are to be blamed,
They spent all their time getting their portfolios made,
Jammie’s ads with Kissan bottles were ruling the roost,
Even more than Sachin, who spent all his time drinking Boost.

Dhoni was spending all this time, caressing his locks,
And Saif and Kaif were eating up Lays box after box,
In the paper we saw Yuvi, Bhajji and Zaheer,
Doing the ramp walk, rather than their bowling routines.

But lets now pause, and for a second wonder,
This same team played a World Cup final in the days of yonder,
What happened to these heroes of the past, only guess we can,
One thing we all know, we wish we had the Wright man.

Cricket’s our religion, it’s impossible to convert,
We’ll make our voices heard, the team’s fortune we’ll invert,
Forget about the debacle in the West Indies,
This is our team, believe in their past victories.

So please Mr. Pawar, the nation wants this from you,
A distinguished team and man in charge to look up to,
Because we’re Indians and this is our number 1 game,
Take the team to great glory, success and fame.

INTROSPECTION

2009-10-19T05:12:00.000-07:00